One of my favorite prayers is the Peace Prayer, often popularly known as the Prayer of Saint Francis. I’m sure it’s familiar, but take a moment to let it bubble to your thoughts. Does a particular couplet spring to mind? The ones that most readily cling to me are: “O Divine Master, let me not seek as much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.”
These beautiful not-quite-contradictions came to mind as I reflected on today’s readings. In particular, the first reading from the Second Letter to the Corinthians has this beautiful language I’m not sure I’ve ever internalized before, noting how we are:
“perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed;
always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus,
so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.”
The Gospel selection from Matthew continues this, with one of the great truisms of the faith: “[W]hoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave.”
To truly understand a life with Christ is to grapple with these reversals, these seeming contradictions, paradoxes, and near-paradoxes daily:
- The more you try to control every aspect of your life, the more God reveals that you are not in control.
- The more freely you give of yourself in service of Christ, the more you realize how much you had — and still have — to offer.
- The more you seek to learn every nuance of the Faith, the more you realize that there are still a great many mysteries to fill our lives in contemplation.
- The more you look for God’s presence in your life, the more of God’s actions and presence you seem to find in your life.
- The more time you carve out of your “busy” schedule to take care of your spiritual self and well-being, the more time you seem to have for what’s really important.
Each of the Sacraments has similar paradoxes and near-paradoxes. Baptism comes with the realization that the beginning of a life with Christ isn’t tied to any chronological age. Confirmation is the affirmation that we have enough knowledge and self-understanding to have a full life with Christ . . . which ultimately comes with the realization that we’ll never know ourselves and the Faith as well as God knows us. Marriage and Holy Orders are the sacrifice of your self to a larger order, and the realization that no Earthly manifestations of power or comfort will match what it means to give yourself fully to God. The Eucharist is an ultimate symbol of humility, the all-powerful God made manifest by a transubstantiation of simple bread and wine. Reconciliation comes with it the realization that the more we cling to our sins, the more power they have over us; by freely giving them up, we free ourselves. And the Anointing of the Sick is perhaps the ultimate reminder that God is waiting to be with us always, in good times and bad, in this world and the world to come.
This is, of course, not a comprehensive list of all the ways that the Faith proves itself larger than any of us, by expanding beyond what we think we know and can logically determine, to open the door to true understanding and happiness with God.
If there’s a particular parallelism or seeming paradox that speaks to you — either here or in your own thoughts — consider praying on it today. If not, consider reflecting on one of the Sacraments you haven’t thought about in a while, and see where your thoughts and prayers guide you. This doesn’t necessarily need to lead to action (although if it does, great!), but the act of thinking about what we don’t normally think about can often yield great treasure, like checking a dresser or closet you’ve neglected for some time.
And above all, rejoice! The Spirit is with you on your ever-fascinating journey through the Faith. With such an awe-inspiring companion, even being at our most lost could be just a momentary bout of darkness before the dawning of a new ray of light with Christ.
Today’s readings: 2 Cor 4:7-15; Ps 126:1BC-2AB,2CD-3,4-5,6; Mt 20:20-28
