My wife and I helped with a Catholic marriage preparation seminar for a number of years, assisting with discussions and giving a presentation on communication. One of the things that we emphasize – in the class and our own presentation – is that love is an ongoing decision, a lifelong commitment to each other (and, through the covenant of marriage, to God). One technique we emphasized in our presentation was building the habits of good communication skills through daily habits: having at least one meal with your spouse every day, saying “I love you” to your spouse at least once a day (and ideally more often!), making time for small talk every day, and so on.
Each of our techniques had a reason behind them, but – for the most part – each of them had the same justification: to build up the discipline where good habits become second nature. If you say “I love you” to your spouse every day – even if you don’t particularly feel it every so often – it’ll give you the mental fortitude to love your partner during those leaner times. If you make time for small talk every day, then you should be comfortable enough with your spouse that – when you need to talk about bigger, more important things – you’re used to communicating and it won’t be stressful.
I was reminded of all of this while reflecting on today’s first reading from the Second Book of Kings. It details the finding of the book of the law and the people’s rededication to it, with the King saying, “Go, consult the LORD for me, for the people, for all Judah, about the stipulations of this book that has been found, for the anger of the LORD has been set furiously ablaze against us, because our fathers did not obey the stipulations of this book, nor fulfill our written obligations.”
I’d argue that one of the reasons why the book of the law was so enthusiastically embraced by the people of Judah is the same reason our own Catholic traditions are useful to us: because they build constant habits, leaving mental room for hearts and minds to turn to God. Thus, by going to church every week, we remind ourselves that we’re part of the Catholic community even when we’re out of town, on vacation, or perhaps even not in the mood. By giving up meat on Fridays, every meal we need to reimagine reminds us of Christ and his sacrifice. By saying a prayer before meals, we create a moment for our hearts and minds to really appreciate what God has given us, before we start wolfing down food.
Ideally, the discipline we develop through these daily habits carries over to the rest of our lives. Making a habit of saying “I love you” to your spouse should help fill your heart with love your entire marriage. Taking a moment before a meal to pray should make it much easier to keep God in our hearts when we’re not eating. Following the law was not just how the Israelites showed their dedication to God; it was also how they helped build it.
In today’s Gospel selection from Matthew, Jesus warns about false prophets, and the bad fruit they bear: “Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know them.”
Though speaking of false prophets, a similar lesson can be applied to our own lives; one way we can ensure we are “good trees” who bear “good fruit” is by helping to grow and foster good habits as much as we can, throughout our lives. And in the same way a tree can be coaxed to grow good and properly through a lifetime of dedication to its health and pruning, we can grow ourselves through a dedication to God, through constant routines that we use every day. In that way, the Spirit can grow in our hearts and minds.
Perhaps, then, you can take today to reflect on your own habits. If you have routines you use to get closer to God, take a moment to appreciate them, ensuring you’re not doing them absentmindedly but rather as a way to get closer to God. If you have been considering starting a habit (or restarting one that’s fallen to your wayside) – such as a prayer before and/or after meals, or telling your spouse “I love you” at least once a day – perhaps now is a time to begin or renew your efforts. The people of Judah were delighted when they rediscovered the law of God; let that own delight in serving the Lord fill your heart.
Today’s Readings: 2 Kgs 22:8-13;23:1-3; Ps 119:33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 40; Mt 7:15-20
