The term “white elephant” has two meanings. The first is its literal meaning: a rare albino elephant venerated in some parts of the world. The second is the term as it’s most often used today: “a possession that is useless or troublesome, especially one that is expensive to maintain or difficult to dispose of.” The story is that the kings of Siam (modern-day Thailand) would bestow a white elephant to obnoxious courtiers; since they were venerated, they were considered a great honor and couldn’t be disposed of easily. But, since they were elephants, they’re expensive to feed and maintain; eventually, the gift recipient will be driven to ruin.
I’ve heard modern-day versions of this along the lines of, “If you hate someone, give them a horse” . . . since, again, they require a lot of care, feeding, room, and effort. Honestly, most animals or pets can prove to be unexpected burdens, if you possess one without realizing the costs and implications.
Those anecdotes came to mind as I reflected on today’s readings. The Gospel selection, from Luke, starts with strong language: “If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.”
It’s the kind of lesson that immediately causes mental spinning: Wait, does that mean that Jesus was expecting his disciples to hate their parents and families? Peter had a wife, whose mother Jesus cured, so it seems that there’s some familial affection among Christ’s followers. Does that proclamation extend to Jesus himself, and does that mean Jesus hated his own mother, Mary?
None of that makes much sense. But, of course, Jesus was fond of that rhetorical technique, saying something that seems paradoxical or flies in the face of expectations as a way of shaking up listeners, before tying it all together and giving the listeners something to think about. (It’s a technique I’ve used myself a fair bit in these weekly musings, dear reader . . .)
In this case, Jesus continues: What builder constructs a tower without considering the costs? What king marches into battle without doing the calculations to determine if his force is vastly outnumbered by the enemy?
So, with the fullness of Jesus’ lesson, this reading begins to make more sense. How does hating your family and loved ones tie into calculating the materials needed to build a house, or wage war against an enemy? Simply this: Consider the cost.
To truly follow Jesus is not a decision that should be arrived at flippantly, or without considering the implications . . . or the cost. The calling may drive you to strange parts of the world, far away from family and friends. It will cause you to renounce worldly goods and opportunities. It may even ask you to lay down your life as a martyr.
From a certain point of view, doesn’t that match the definition of “hate” . . . especially if your family and friends don’t approve of your Christ-centered life? That would certainly apply to other life-consuming or dangerous pursuits: “Mom, Dad . . . I’ve decided to devote my life to following the punk-polka band Semiquaver Milkshake. Why are you crying?” or “Honey? I’m leaving you and the kids to become a professional bullfighter!”
From the view of the secular world, giving away large sums of money or dying for an ephemeral pursuit would be signs of serious neglect, and even “hatred.” Of course, if your family shares your values and devotion to Christ (as we hope they do!), then there isn’t a problem. They understand what’s important in life, and no doubt help to encourage and support your devotion to a life with God as you help them do the same. But, otherwise, you have to understand what you may well need to give up in order to follow Jesus to the fullest.
It’s an old adage, but the things we own end up owning us. In the case of a horse or elephant, ownership can lead to ruination and misery if you don’t have a full understanding of the true cost. Jesus warns today that physical attachments — even to other people — can keep us from a life as a follower of Christ . . . and to truly follow Christ means that we may need to give up our possessions, our familial attachments, and even our physical lives. At the very least, we need to hate the tribal idea that the only thing that matters is our closest kin and blood. Like Jesus himself showed on the cross, only by being fully committed to dying in one’s attachments to this world can we give ourselves over to the fullness of God’s plan of redemption.
Today’s readings: Rom 13:8-10; Ps 112:1B-2,4-5 9; Lk 14:25-33
