Do you have a “church face?” Let me explain. Bertha gets up and begins the day by berating her husband for leaving his dirty clothes on the floor. She screams at the children for taking too much time to get ready for church. All the way to church she rants and raves over one issue after another. Then she walks into the church lobby and with the biggest, sweetest smile on her face, greets a friend with “good morning, how are you this fine day.” Somewhere between the car and the church door she took off her grouchy face and put on a “church face.”
Jesus never wore a “church face.” Today we all come together in the upper room to get ready for the first Mass. Church is about to begin. What expression was on Jesus’ face? (John 13:21-38)
“Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified. ‘Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.’”
Remember that one “amen” meant “what I am about to say is important, listen.” And two “amens” meant “what I am about to say is extremely important.” What was about to take place was so significant that he wanted his disciples to remember it. As he spoke this word, Jesus had a “deeply troubled” look on his face. Something was bothering him in the deepest part of his being. One of his beloved Twelve was about to turn against him and turn him in to the authorities. How sad and hurt Jesus must have felt. He did not hide this from those who sat at table with him.
“The disciples looked at one another, at a loss as to whom he meant.”
Jesus’ words started the disciples. They wondered what he was talking about, not being able to imagine that one of them would turn against Jesus. Trying to figure out what was going on, Peter nodded to John and asked him to ask Jesus for an explanation. Jesus told him that the betrayer was the one with whom he was about to share bread.
“So he dipped the morsel and handed it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. Satan entered him. So Jesus said to him, ‘What you are going to do, do quickly.’”
Was Jesus troubled that he was going to be betrayed, or was he more troubled because Judas was being given over to Satan, and thus being cut off from the Kingdom of God. Jesus came to save the lost; this was his passion in life. Before his face he saw one of those close to him choosing to be lost for all eternity. No wonder Jesus was troubled.
Then Jesus spoke another “Amen, amen” in response to Simon Peter’s statement that he would lay down his life for him.
“Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow before you deny me three times.”
Peter, the one he was preparing to be leader of the Church, was about to deny that he even knew Jesus. Jesus saw through Peter’s ego-centered boasting. He knew that within his heart, Peter was driven by fear. Jesus remained troubled.
As we sit down at table with Jesus this week, preparing for Holy Thursday, what is the look on his face? Is he still troubled? Are there those who call themselves Christians betraying Jesus today or denying his existence? How Jesus must grieve at the proliferation of sin in our world.
Today we pray for the gift of faithfulness, so we can bring consolation to Jesus’ troubled face.
