Several of us mothers were talking this morning about times when our children were angry with us. As mom we had set a limit, denied a request, or expected some task to be done. Son or daughter resisted. Then parental authority came down—and children were upset. It probably happens in every family. Often. It is human nature to kick against discipline.
The conversation then turned to times when we were in the child role and our parents came down hard on us. We all noted we thought we were stuck with awful parents at that time, but later we saw things differently. That helped us when we had to be the “strong one” with our children.
About this time in Lent God’s discipline can get uncomfortable. The good intentions of Ash Wednesday wear thin about now. Whether we’ve taken as our Lenten project to add some prayer, cast out a bad habit, sacrifice for others, or simply deny ourselves some ordinary pleasure, the effort can seem too hard about now.
Or perhaps that thought about some change that keeps popping into mind is getting just plain aggravating. “No, I’m not drinking too much.” “That wasn’t really gossip I just spread.” “Surely going to mass EVERY Sunday isn’t all that important.”
In ordinary behavioral psychology terms, just at the time we have practiced something enough to make a change, we too often torpedo our efforts by relaxing our efforts. You have perhaps heard that it takes 21 days to change a habit.
True. But ONE slip can extend the time to 35 days.
The third week of any behavior change effort is the hardest.
That is where we are in Lent. Third week.
About now we get divided. Divided against ourselves. Divided about our purpose. Divided from God even. Rebellious conversations start in our heads. They tell us we have “bitten off more than we can chew”—we should relax our disciplines. Or that they aren’t going to make any difference anyway. Or that just a little slip up, one day off from our Lenten discipline, won’t hurt.
Because of such division, the peace that identifies God’s blessing slips away.
We can question if this Lenten effort is really of God.
If this is you (it was me one day this past week), today’s readings can be a help.
In the Gospel, Jesus is casting out demons. Some who are watching are impressed, but then they question if Jesus’ actions are really of God. “By the power of Beelzebul, the prince of demons, he drives out demons,” they say.
Jesus replies with some interesting words: “Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste
and house will fall against house. And if Satan is divided against himself, how will his kingdom stand?”
Makes sense. He goes on to talk about the “strong man” who guards his house. I was a little confused as to who the strong man is. Commentaries say it is Satan. Satan guards his house, this world. But then “when one stronger than he attacks and overcomes him, he takes away the armor on which he relied and distributes the spoils.”
That stronger one is Jesus. He isn’t working with Satan. He is working to defeat him.
It’s just that the onlookers are in the middle of it all and can’t discern the goodness of Jesus’ actions. Hmm. Just like I can’t quite discern how God is working in my Lenten practices.
Then Jesus says a really interesting thing: “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.”
That may be confusing because you might remember elsewhere Jesus says, “whoever is not against us is for us.” (Mark 9: 40) I remembered that and was confused. As I looked it up, commentaries note that when Jesus said that, he was talking about people who were also doing good things in God’s name, as he was. It was just this person was not one of Jesus’ circle of disciples. Jesus was saying in effect, “You don’t have to be part of my inner circle to do God’s work.”
But in today’s Gospel Jesus is talking about Satan and evil. He is pointing out that it would make no sense for evil to stop evil. Jesus is doing good. People need to recognize it. “But if it is by the finger of God that I drive out demons, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you.”
For several years I was a “behavior specialist” who designed and implemented behavior modification programs for children who had serious behavior problems. To do my work well I studied the research on behavior modification. Research studies (and my own experiences) show that a child will escalate his resistance to an imposed behavior change (such as going to bed at a certain time, doing schoolwork, or following directions) JUST BEFORE he gives in to compliance. Friends who train horses say the same thing is true for them: horses fight the bridle or the saddle hardest just before they are “broken” to accept them.
I think Mother Church gives us readings like those today because she knows this is a critical time in our Lenten practices. Just as “the strong man is bound,” we are tempted to relax our efforts.
In the first reading the prophet Jeremiah reminded the people of his generation, “This is what I commanded my people: Listen to my voice; then I will be your God and you shall be my people. Walk in all the ways that I command you, so that you may prosper. But they obeyed not, nor did they pay heed. They walked in the hardness of their evil hearts and turned their backs, not their faces, to me.”
When we give in to the “strong man” that pulls us away from the pull of God, God does not abandon us. He does not give up on us. He argues with us in our heads. We lose our peace. He may even say to us, “This is the nation that does not listen to the voice of the LORD, its God, or take correction. Faithfulness has disappeared” and give us a guilt trip.
But, if we give up, God will be ready for us next Lent…or on Easter Sunday…or some time when we stop fighting discipline and give in to God.
But we miss the opportunity to hear God’s voice today and all the joy and peace that comes with that once we bind the strong man in our hearts and heads. Our following through on our chosen discipline helps the stronger man win. It helps Jesus because it shows we give him permission to take over, to do the battle.
I remember seven years ago, the Lent I came back to God. I journeyed. But I seemed to hit a wall. Satan was a strong man within me. I was battling a return to mortal sin on a daily basis. I couldn’t shake the temptations. But I kept fighting.
Then, on Tuesday of the fourth week of Lent, I came back to daily mass for the first time in more than a dozen years. THAT was what I needed for the stronger man to bind the strong man. I had come back to regular confession at the beginning of Lent. Now I came back to being fed by Word, Eucharist, and Christian community several times a week.
That made all the difference. It gave me enough of the stronger man for him to win back my soul.
So, if the strong man and the stronger man are struggling in you, DON’T relax. Pray for God to show you how to let the stronger man win. The stronger man is Jesus. And he is “the Way the Truth and the Life” the deepest, most hungry and thirsty part of you wants. His life, death, and resurrection defeated the strong man forever. Pray for him to find a way to win you back, win you over, bring you closer to his side.
This year’s Lenten struggles within me are not so great as they were that year. But they are still struggles. Pray for me.
Prayer:
“Lord, I keep remembering Pope Francis’ initial words to the people in St. Peter’s Square when he was elected pope: ‘I am a sinner. Pray for me.’ I am a sinner, and I need prayer as I keep on being in the middle of your continued efforts to convert me and build your Kingdom. I get confused so often in the middle of struggles. Is this of God? If it is, why doesn’t God ease the struggle? Lord, help me remember that discipline is by its nature uncomfortable, that as a child I fought it and I fight it still. Today, every day, be the stronger one. Win the battles in me. Lead me, guide me. Amen.
