Sunday morning at mass I was heavy burdened. I wouldn’t say my heart was hard, but it was heavy—like a stone. I was participating in the mass—but in an almost automatic way. Neither mind nor heart was fully on the altar. I was having my own individual conversation with God.
But then, as we began, “Our Father, who art in heaven…” I felt a tiny hand slip itself into my hand. The little girl—probably less than 3 years old—who sat next to me, who could barely at that age understand anything of the mass—she knew to reach up and put her hand in mine when she heard the words, “Our Father, who art in heaven”. With that simple, gentle action I felt my heart soften. I looked down to smile at her. She looked up to smile at me. Something in me relaxed in an instant. I entered fully into worship—with a “natural” heart.
Hearts Facing Scandal in the Church
I am in need of a softened, natural heart today. The re-emergence of sexual abuse scandals in the US is heavy on my heart—like a stone. As a family therapist I have worked for years with victims of sexual abuse, perpetrators of the abuse, family members who are dealing with the reality of it, as well as the social, legal, and penal professionals who help people work it through.
It is an evil. It is an evil which perpetuates evil. It is an evil which is not limited to clergy in the Catholic Church. In fact, it mostly happens in families. It is not usually the benevolent stranger or trusted clergy or teacher who takes advantage of children or youth. It is usually a parent, step-parent, sibling, step-sibling, grandparent, aunt, or uncle.
Whoever perpetrates such a thing—the evil is done. An evil must be dealt with or it will go unchecked, continuing to spread. What is my role in stopping this evil—and other evils that profane God’s name?
Ezekiel Speaks to Where We Are
God softened my heart on Sunday morning with a little girl’s hand. Today, the first reading from Ezekiel now speaks to my naturalized heart:
Thus says the LORD:
I will prove the holiness of my great name,
profaned among the nations,
in whose midst you have profaned it.
Thus the nations shall know that I am the LORD, says the Lord GOD,
when in their sight I prove my holiness through you…
I will sprinkle clean water upon you
to cleanse you from all your impurities,
and from all your idols I will cleanse you.
I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you,
taking from your bodies your stony hearts
and giving you natural hearts.
I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes,
careful to observe my decrees.
You shall live in the land I gave your ancestors;
you shall be my people, and I will be your God.
Two lines especially speak to me today, “I will prove the holiness of my great name,” and “I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my decrees.”
“I Will Prove the Holiness of My Great Name”
There is a song our prayer group sings: “Hide Me in Your Holiness.” What is the “holiness of God?” The root word in the Hebrew scriptures specifically refers to: (1) the absoluteness and majesty of God (God is above all, “I am,” that which is beyond the capacity to be thought; separate and above man) and (2) moral purity. There is no evil in God.
In the New Testament, the word “hagios” is used. The meaning of separateness and majesty is diminished. The meaning of moral purity, of behaving as God behaves is emphasized. In the New Testament, “holy” is most often used with “spirit” to denote the presence and power of God within the baptized Christian—the Holy Spirit. Time and time again St. Paul urges Christians to live lives in conformity to God’s ways, with moral purity, in the ways of the Holy Spirit. An example that comes to mind is in Galatians 5: 19-25:
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ [Jesus] have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit. Let us not be conceited, provoking one another, envious of one another.”
“I Will Put My Spirit Within You and Make You Live by My Statutes”
How does God put (or renew) his Spirit within me and make me live by his statutes? I remember the little girl’s hand in mine. Reaching out in acts of love is one way the Holy Spirit can be roused.
The prophet Jeremiah in Jeremiah 31:33 says the same thing as Ezekiel does today with slightly different words: “I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God and they shall be my people.”
Thinking of what the prophets said using those words calls to mind a favorite quote from St. Teresa of Calcutta:
“I am a little pencil in God’s hands. He does the thinking. He does the writing. He does everything and sometimes it is really hard because it is a broken pencil and He has to sharpen it a little more.”
The little girl at mass on Sunday was a little pencil in God’s hands. God saw my distress. He did the thinking. He did the writing. He wrote on my heart. As he wrote, he softened it. He gave me back my natural heart again.
Prayer:
Lord, thank you for the little girl at mass last Sunday. I see her there each week. I do not know her by name. But she was a needed pencil in your hand for me. O Lord, there are so many in need of someone to be a pencil in your hands just now in our church, in our nation, in our world—in my corner of your world. Today, Lord, let me be a little broken pencil in your hands. Sharpen me as you wish. Put me where you wish. Write with me what you wish. Heal me, heal all of us Lord. We are broken. Sprinkle clean water on us and cleanse us of our idols and impurities. Renew your Holy Spirit within me, within all of us. As you said in our Psalm today, “A heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn” and “A clean heart create for me, O God; a steadfast spirit renew within me.” Give us the grace of contrite, humble, clean, renewed hearts, lives, and church. Amen.
