Winter in Kentucky was very rough in 1978. We lived on a farm back a half mile from the road. That year we were snowbound for over six weeks. I was young, not yet with children, and a bit restless . What was I to do for weeks on end at home?
I decided to take up quilting. I knew how to sew. I had a book of patterns and instructions, some scrap materials, and scissors, needles, and thread. What else would I need? I decided to make a wall hanging and chose the “Lone Star” pattern.
What else I needed was instruction and guidance. I will spare you the details, but after working diligently for several weeks, I discovered that my “Lone Star” was a mis-shaped star that was beyond my ability to repair. The snow melted, normal life returned, and I never tried quilting again.
Teach me your ways, O Lord.
As I look at today’s readings, the theme that comes to mind is the value of instruction and guidance in our faith if we are to become all God seeks for us to become.
The response to the Psalm today is, “Teach me your ways, O Lord.”
How does God teach me his ways?
The opportunities are great: mass, Scripture, prayer, saints, examples of others, catechism, books, videos, internet, study groups, faith-sharing groups, retreats, RCIA, family dinner table conversations—the options go on and on.
There are about as many ways for God to teach me as there were scraps of material for quilting in my house in 1978.
How do I choose from among the options to know what will form me as God designs?
When I was at St. Meinrad, there was a program of study. It included a balance of theology, Scripture, liturgy, and ministry formation. But what do I do now, since I finished my studies? I cut out quilt pieces for learning and put them together as I choose: lots of Scripture, favorite authors, topics I find interesting….my own pile of quilting squares. Not necessarily a balanced work of holy art.
The psalmist says,
Your ways, O Lord, make known to me; teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my savior. Good and upright is the Lord; thus he shows sinners the way. He guides the humble to justice, he teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are kindness and constancy toward those who keep his covenant and his decrees. The friendship of the Lord is with those who fear him, and his covenant, for their instruction.”
I’ve bolded words in the psalm selection that give guidance. There is a balance in studying truth, the story of salvation, God’s goodness, sin, virtues like humility, justice, kindness, constancy, and fear of the Lord.
As I reflect and pray, I consider how I put them together.
The truth of the matter is that I tend to pick topics that fit with what I already understand and know. Reflecting, I realize that can make for a skewed design. I’m prone to mercy and to action. I relate well to Jesus walking and healing in Galilee. These past months I have been reading some out of my comfort zone.
It’s hard. It triggers me to think–and to pray with more seeking. Sometimes it leads me to pray as if I need to convince God of what is right! Sometimes it leads me into a day or two of confusion and distress.
Our Church is catholic (universal) as well as Roman Catholic. There are varieties of perspective within our faith. When I converted many years ago, that was one thing I loved about catholicism–its thorough theology expressed in a variety of devotions and forms.
Somehow, though, lately, I’ve been making my quilt design of faith skewed like that attempt at quilting years ago. That causes me to think I am RIGHT and others, well within the parameters of faith, but different in focus and devotion, are…well, at least not so right as me.
Disputing with Words
When I do that—when anyone does that—we can do what 1 Peter today warns against: we can “dispute about words.”
There is a lot of disputing about words in the Church today. Such disputes too often cause us to dig our heels in on a point of view. We mentally prove our point…again and again and again…even in our prayer.
1 Peter says, “The word of God is not chained.” But perhaps sometimes we try to chain it by studying and learning more about what we already know and believe. We don’t examine what we disagree with or what makes us uncomfortable. We chain God’s word to make the quilt design go our way.
In the Gospel today, there has perhaps already been some disputing about words. The scribes ask Jesus, “Which is the first of all the commandments?” Jesus replies with “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.”
Then he immediately goes on to say, “The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
What exactly does this mean in my life? I’ve been reading and thinking and praying and talking about the balance and extents of what this means for months. Its application is very important as I seek to grow, as I work with others, and as I move into new areas of ministry.
I recognize it is not good to skew the design of where God leads me. I need instruction and guidance to keep my design balanced. I can get triggered by others or desires or self-will/pride or carelessness to make my star skewed. I can get off center. When I do, I start judging, feeling self-righteous, and “disputing with words.” I run the risk of chaining the word of God with my prejudices and premises.
As I pray, I recognize I have done that.
Seeking and Finding Needed Instruction
Today’s readings call me to think: what instruction do I need to let the word of God be free in me?
These thoughts come to mind (some I’m doing, some I need to do or do more):
- What does Scripture say? Not just my favorite Scriptures, but the whole Bible.
- What does the catechism say?
- What do holy people I know say…and do?
- What do church documents, writings or lives of saints, and learning of the ages say?
- What can I find on the internet? (Notice, this is not at the top of the list)
- When I pray or talk with my pastor or friends, what do I discover?
Now you may say, that’s a lot of work to understand an issue. True. If the issue is simple and the information makes sense enough to me that I see where I need to go, then Scripture, catechism, and/or teaching of wise people would be enough.
But if it is a place where my lived life does not match those teachings or my mind, emotions, or will won’t give in to the Truth/guidance beyond me…I need to keep working and learning.
Becoming the Best Version of Ourselves
Evangelist Matthew Kelly speaks often about “be the best version of yourself you can be.” What he means is, “Do whatever it takes to become holy.” To become holy our design has to fit with God’s design for us. That design will be unique for us—but also match God’s goodness, love, truth, and fidelity. It will be our own quilt square–but fit within God’s larger quilt design.
Are you struggling with balancing love God-love neighbor like I am? Or do you question how you work with suffering in your life as the author of 1 Peter did? Or did Corpus Christi last week cause you to question Eucharist, mass, and Sunday obligations? Or maybe you question why live as Christian?
Wherever you are, others in the Church have been in that place before you. They can give you instruction and guidance. Seek their guidance.
Prayer:
Lord, help me to submit to instruction, especially when I am very sure I know what is best. As I work on implementing the design you have for my life, help me to start at the center—You. Make your design for me clear—and simple enough I can do it. Put people and books and experiences in my life that will help me keep my seams straight and my quilt squares pressed into place. Teach me YOUR WAYS, O Lord.
