Whoever says he is in the light,
yet hates his brother, is still in the darkness.
This Advent , while I consecrated myself to St Therese of Lisieux through a shaky 33 days of daily prayers and reflection. I was also seeking for my word for the year 2023 and repeatedly the word and verse with LOVE came to mind! I dont know if it was God or just my brain reminding me of what I read last but it did take me a while and todays first reading to figure out, I cannot live with so much resentment in my heart! not possible!
Over the past few years of being an adult, I have had experiences and encounters with humans at personal and professional front who I just dislike! The resentment at one point of time was all I could think of and even moved away to rediscover myself and my faith – much needed break! and it did help -it buried the wound deep and over time the it healed into a scar which some days hurts ….
Love is the solution to worlds every problem ( besides money) and can be one heck of a scarce commodity! While St Therese often says do small things with love and trust God with everything – it is easier said then done! Some days loving someone is so hard especially when they do everything to annoy and gladly seem to forget that they ever hurt you! It is frustrating when love is apparently shown through invasion of privacy and intrusive queries about ones personal life!
As some one with a temper that is ready to fly at any given moment it takes my entire will power to not get annoyed by someone I dislike or NOT LOVE! and festive season can take a toll with its necessity to be cheerful all the time! So I sit silent for a few times in the day, put these so called humans I need to love and their annoyance upto the Lord and have a discussion with God and myself on how I cant assess and manage the situation and what is the most suited option – at times I respond later when I feel calmer, someday I just never do or I just tell them what I feel!
This exercise has taught me to be more careful in what I respond as I cannot be loving at every waking hour! It is hard but I am using Gods guidance to sort these issues – may seem petty but I often feel walking away from sin is much braver than lying about being interested!
As this is the last reflection of 2022, I am hopeful I am going to work on my temper and relationship with God over this new year and enable myself to love everyone of them who are on my naughty list!
PRAYER
Guide me oh Lord, and bless me with wisdom to chose my battles and devote my day and life to being a light of your spirit in this world! Help me to love them even when they know what they do!
AMEN
