Todays Gospel reading is a proud Zechariach proclaiming what his son has been born for, he chalks out his mission to prepare the way for the Lord and all the work he would have to do!! To me that read as ” parental pressure!!” or in spider man terminology “with great power comes great responsibility”.
I always had this air of confidence as a child growing up, a determination to be the best at everything and when I wasn’t I just could not accept failure!! I was that ” sore loser” who refused to accept defeat at a game or a grade lower than first! I set myself extremely high goals and worked hard to reach them, most often I did and when I could not I found an excuse!
Until I reached medical school, there suddenly I was in a sea of humans who had the same attitude as me and I was confused when I did not do as well as I expected. As I worked through residency I constantly felt the symptoms of ” imposter syndrome” and often still do, when I realise the amount of responsibility I have– as a human to act like a human , as a catholic to abide by the laws of my faith ( which I often have not ), as a daughter/ sister to be supportive to my family members ( I have been more annoying and argumentative ), as a doctor to be patient ( Lord knows that I have snapped at many a patient over the years ) and even as a writer on this site — I have had my share of messes!!I keep doubting myself when I make a decision and set on a path, I am confused and unsure most of the times about minor ideas in life. Sometimes I imagine how Mother Mary was so chilled about the entire event of pregnancy, the responsibility was immense but the power of her faith was massive as she embarked on the most beautiful journey of her life…
This advent, for me, has been shaky but also an eye opener to the greater responsibility , like John the Baptist, each of us is chosen for a purpose and it is to be a child of God. It is hard when you feel overworked or lazy , the thoughts of running away from responsibility thrive in the mind, procrastination and frustration leading to anger and bitterness ultimately ruining our purpose!While doubts keep haunting us especially with the news of a new more virulent strain of covid 19. Our life mind needs to refocus and realise that the great responsibility should come with greater faith in the power of God!
PRAYER:
Dearest Lord, I thank you for this season of advent and as I am ready to take on the responsibility of accepting your son Jesus in my heart tomorrow, I ask you to bless me with immense and unwavering faith in your power just like Mother Mary! Help me to fight all the fear and anxiety of a new year and focus on being a child full of faith and confidence like before.
Thank you Jesus. Bless the whole world.
Amen
