Who then is this about whom I hear such things?”
And he kept trying to see him.
I try to see the Lord. I try. Maybe not as much. But I do try!
As I sit typing this reflection, I am pondering how I havent prayed in a while nor have I had a productive day of any form besides going through the motions of the day and binge watching some random netflix show. I have heard about HIM through scripture, this website, through churches, parents and evangelists but just like Herod I keep trying to see HIM.
However,
I do not see Him in the beggar by the road who yells out at me every morning as I walk across to the hospital. I do not see Him when the woman does not cooperate in labor and delivery with me or the staff. I do not see Him in the 160 women who flock my clinic with compliants. I do not see Him when I judge them for being poor hygiene and illiterate!
But
I do try to see Him, when I swallow my impatience and hide my resentment when I see that I am stuck with more patients than I can handle especially with no break. I do try when I smile behind the mask and hello random humans who respect me for my position. I do try when I am just trying to the best for my patient and her baby and they do not listen to me! I do try when I am make a call or respond to a text in the midst of my work and console a friend or be there for them.
I am Herod of the new world, jealous of every one better than me or beheading (figuratively) every critic in my life .Like Herod, I have heard about this Jesus– who was born and preached, was crucified and resurrected to Life and calls me everyday to be a light in the world like Him but I cant seem to see Him , I am constantly trying , some days harder than others but not hard enough ….
Let us try harder, envy less and be more like Jesus than Herod this week and give our prayer lives a tiny boost as we keep trying to see HIM!!
Prayer:
Dear Lord, I have strayed, some days longer than usual. Help me, guide me and enlighten me with your spirit to focus on you and try harder to reconnect with you.
Amen!
