At the end of every dance (bharatnatyam) class as a student, I would do my closing “namaskar” and walk up to the teacher and bow down to touch her feet as she placed her hand on my head and blessed me! Every Indian has experienced this method of seeking blessings on a regular basis. the idea behind this act as I was explained as a doe eyed 8 year old at dance class was, that when you touch the feet of a good soul, you will choose the right path or you will get the right direction in your life to work as the energy of the opposite person is transmitted to you. While I did it in glee , that I could run home and show my newly learnt dance to my parents, as the class ended, it always seemed like a genuine way to thank the elders.
I however , was born in a different society of India ( thanks to the portuguese colonisation of my state) and have sought blessings from my parents, grandparents and elders with my hands joint and they signed the cross over my folded hands and wished me to reach great heights in my mother tongue. ( Vodhlo zao). So when I walked into my first class as a kid, I was confused and surprised why i was being asked to touch my teachers feet, I have hugged and kissed my teachers on their cheeks or stuck my hand out for a handshake, never touched anyone’s feet?!?!?I am pretty sure that St Peter felt almost similar emotions when Jesus suddenly hold his foot and washes it!!! ” why on earth would the son of God wash his feet?” ” Were they that filthy? ” while checking his feet for dirt and his sandals for any tears.
While, I listened to this entire story as a catholic all through my life on every Maundy Thursday , under the sweltering summer heat under the shade, the massive gathering of dark clothing catholic gather to participate in the last supper preparation, I never could get myself to wash my ego off and do something for another human without any expectation in return. Like always I did try to abstain from junk and meats on friday and say a rosary every day. But I did every other sin I could and should have avoided. Yes I am no saint, heck I even watched IVF and embryos form in the lab !! So unchristian of me…. so I did the best way to sort my issues, walked up the church steps and caught the priest in the middle of his evening walk for a much needed confession!!!
While I rattled off my sins and frustrations of having the worst lenten season, I did hear the soothing voice of the priest ease my worries and calm me down and explain how I should not be hard on myself for not being the perfect christian , but instead help everyone while pushing my pride and ego aside. ” I AM TRYING BUT IT IS SO HARD FATHER !!!!” is all I could keep repeating …..
You call me ‘teacher’ and ‘master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am.
If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another’s feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”
I have not washed any feet, hell I have not even had time to look at any feet this lent. I was busy trying to stick to the check list of lent that I pushed aside anyone who came in my way of abstinence or work and even had my ego hurt hen someone was offended by my acts. This lent has been hard for me .. extremely hard, while my mind has been constantly racing about what needs to be done and not done, I havent stopped to look at what people around me required. Today , this weekend as I watch my Lord lay his life for me, I ask Him to just place his nail struck hand over my head as I bend down and touch his bleeding feet and cry out for help!!
PRAYER:
Lord, I raise my eyes unto you o Lord up on the cross and feel the hurt I cause you every time I sin. Help me Lord, focus my life, my mind and my heart onto your face and thank you for what you taught m and cling onto those feet, never to leave them. Amen.
