And yet another lenten season begins! As a child I would never like these 40 days , partly cause it was in the midst of my final exams at school every year and the sveltering Indian heat of summer… and mom would not cook any meat ( I am a pure non vegetarian!)… Good friday was a long boring service and finally easter was on a sunday … means no extra holiday off school!!! — I found every reason I could to detest this season..
Up until a few years ago, when I was a regular palm Sunday weekend retreat with my family at the center of Fr Agnelo ( my dads favorite saint) and it always made my Lenten season more meaningful…. and while I started to abstain more fervently, I grew superstitous about how my fasting and abstinence affected my year to come … and attributed any untoward incident of major effect to the fact that I wasnt follwing my lenten schedule well!!!!!
Although I want to bust the myth and focus more on building my relationship with God and improve my faith during lent … every year that doubt crops up in my mind.. and my earthly meaning of the daily rosary or fasting on fridays ends up being more of a willpower task then actually uplifting my meal or my prayers to Him!! I tend to focus on the profit on earth that I will obtain and the quick results I will get to see..
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
yet lose or forfeit himself?
I am losing myself every lenten season in trying to be perfect and not make an error or sin or not skip that one rosary or prayer and end up dozing through some cause I want my target to be achieved or completed! NOPE! This lenten season, I want to give myself time to pray, time to have some indepth discussions about my life so far and the future with the Lord, asking for the Holy spirit to guide me in my decisions and responses whether it is to avoid the gossip I get surrounded by or my crankiness thanks to hunger ! I want to let this lent be about just HIM and me and our imperfect relationship where I keep straying away from the ideal responses to situations but pick myself up and put a valiant effort to stick to the Law of the Lord.
I wish all of you a meaningful Lenten season, where you find the purpose of your faith in Christ and ensure you do not be bogged down by the missed fast or accidental consumption of meat on a Friday! But stand up and pick up your heavy cross and take it along the Calvary to be witnesses to this wonderful season and miracle of resurection!!!
PRAYER: Dearest Lord, I ask you to have patience with this imperfect child of yours. Have some mercy and empathy with my slow and repetitive mistakes, teach and guide me to learn about my faith and take my cross towards the hilltop and learn how much I want to be like you!
AMEN
