Tuesday next week, we celebrate 3 months since my beloved grandmother left for her heavenly abode! I am sure she is heaven, and as I read todays Gospel, I imagined her coming to us all grandchildren and children to remind us of how we should see Christ in every human, as she did!
Almost every one I met who knew her, always sung praises of her kindness and generosity. Not a woman of wealth in monetary terms but with a heart and home for anyone who walked in. She fed every hungry human who walked in and that somehow has translated to my own mother who is known in my neighborhood for the same ! The apple doesnt fall far from the tree!
As I read todays Gospel, the fact that a person from the dead could not convince someone on earth about listening about the prophets for eternal life, scares me! Somedays as I watch innocents killed and dead as collateral in war or poverty and hunger claiming lives every day across the globe, it makes me wonder what exactly happens after death!
As a doctor, I have seen and worked on dead human bodies more than usual and it would always make me think.. what happens after we die? Do we meet St Peter at the gates and stroll into heaven, does every sin and hate count?!
I saw and ignored a very mean professor of my past studies recently , who was hurtful and disrespectful to me, I came home and kept wondering if this is what I wanted for Lent, Iam still harboring some resentment for her cause she was rude to my parents and kept trying to haras me a few years ago. I rationalised with my brain that, I really didnt want to talk to her as it bring me to say more hurtful words and thoughts so the fact that I walked away was a lesser sin!
I dont know what will be weighed in my life as I stand at the gates of heaven or if I will even reach up there !! I am trying this lent to reflect every morning and night on my actions and thoughts and it is making me see my actions in a different perspective! and then I begin to use my earthly logic to often justify my deeds!
Today I wish I could talk to my dearest Avozinha, cause she always had something insightful and wise to say about life! instead I have the gospel and the word to meditate on for the answers search as I get along with my life. Tough decisions of forgiveness and letting go of resentment of past misdeeds, of moving on and working on myself for being a better human and better catholic!
PRAYER
Dearest Lord, as we go through Lent, let us reflect on our finite time on this earth with the guidance of the Holy spirit and your words! Help me turn a new leaf and work to attainment of eternal life.
Amen
