In the gospel today Jesus said, “I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!” He goes on to say, “Do you think that I have come to establish peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division.”
The gospel reading goes on to say that family members will be divided against one another. A man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter in law against her mother in law; and one’s enemies will be those of his household.
There are a lot of people who feel bad about the arguments they have in their marriages or family. They often feel ashamed that maybe they do not have a good enough marriage, or they aren’t a very good parent to their children because they get into arguments sometimes. They think that ‘good Catholic families’ get along with each other all the time and do not have this kind of negativity in their families, but that is just not the case.
Without conflicts, sin will triumph. Have you ever heard the expression that, “all it takes for evil to triumph, is for good people to do nothing?” This is why Jesus said that he did not come to establish peace, but division. Without resistance – selfishness, sin, and ungodliness will prevail. Our resistance to sin, evil and the lack of a belief or respect for God, is crucial to helping to bring His kingdom into the world. When we put up a resistance to sin, evil, or the lack of a belief in God, it causes others to at least think about it. That, in and of itself is a partial victory.
The truth comes out during conflicts and arguments too, that might not have come out otherwise. After a serious argument takes place, both parties will have time to think about it. The truth may come to the surface in a person’s heart and gel, making them more open to change, than they would have been otherwise. A good conversation can take place later in the quiet moments, when the Holy Spirit comes and reveals Himself in the stillness of a person’s heart.
Without conflicts our true feelings do not come to the surface, requiring us to cope with them. Sinful behavior lies buried and is never confronted, allowing it to continue to exist. Superficial peace that is maintained this way is not genuine. Conflicts can sometimes be the path to genuine peace and well being in our relationships, marriages and families. The key is respect for both parties involved, allow each person time to say what needs to be said (and be heard), and don’t cut off a relationship without trying different things to help resolve an issue. What works with one person might not work with another.
It is especially important to go to mass. The family that prays together stays together. The graces you receive from the Eucharist and from hearing God’s Word, the hymns, and the priest’s homily can all be very healing, but it is also healing just to sit in the pew together. How can you look at one another during the sign of peace and not have the desire to work out your differences? Nothing is impossible with God.
Regular confession really does help. If you have a routine of going to confession on a regular basis, it can help keep the right focus in your life. A lot of relationships (of any kind) come to an end because of unforgiveness. To forgive and forget, is to become like Christ. Saints forgive and forget. If you have ever been forgiven by someone for the things you did that was wrong and that person seems to have forgotten all about it, then you know what a grace that was in your life. We are called to do the same for others too. If we are the recipient of an act of grace, we should also become a conduit of God’s grace as well.
