The Messiness of Family Life

Jesus Christ AlmightyHalfway through the first reading for Mass today is a very powerful verse that condenses the meaning of both of the readings for Mass in such a beautiful way:

“Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us.”

The reason this sentence condenses the meaning for both of the readings for Mass today, is because the first reading and the gospel are both about families.

Saint Paul began the first reading today, by addressing the broader family of God, and then he acknowledged the individual families:

“Brothers and sisters:  I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named.”

It isn’t just the general subject of families that is called into question in the gospel today, but the messiness, discord, and problems that many families experience in their daily lives.  Jesus said in the gospel that:

“Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?  No, I tell you, but rather division.  From now on a household of five will be divided three against two and two against three …”

The rest of the gospel goes on to describe the inner family dynamics, and the differences that occur between family members.  This is really something to take note of.  Do you ever feel like your family is not really very holy?  That maybe other good Catholic families are holy, but your family has a lot of faults, sins, and disagreements?  Sometimes people feel guilty about their family of origin, or their own immediate family, because of all of the problems and disagreements they have.  There are even some families who quit going to church because they feel unworthy to be there, because they think they are not as good as the other Catholic families that attend Mass there.

However, Jesus does not view our lives the same way we do.  He really doesn’t, and this is very evident in today’s gospel.  Discord, disagreements, sins, flaws, shortcomings and the general messiness of family life is actually the path to the Kingdom of God.  It means at least, that the sins in the family are being addressed.  When family members ignore one another’s sins, it may seem like they live in peace and harmony with one another, but that is only because no one is addressing behaviors that are sinful.  To keep the peace at all costs, and avoid any sort of disagreements or unpleasantness, is to be disloyal to Jesus Christ.  Superficial peace is not a genuine peace at all, even if it appears that way from the outside looking in.

A good argument will often bring to the surface, feelings and emotions that have been buried a long time, and then they can be addressed, worked through, and healed.  Forgiveness is the key afterward.  Families can disintegrate if they do not genuinely work hard at forgiving one another.

Jesus alluded to the fact in today’s gospel, that it was pre-ordained that he would be crucified for our sins.  No matter how minor the offense, or how major the mortal sin is that we commit, it doesn’t have to be set in stone.  That is the most beautiful gift that Jesus Christ ever gave to any of us.  Our sins are not permanent.  The rift isn’t permanent.  We are not separated from God forever, because of what we did.  We can be forgiven and things can be healed and made right again with the Lord’s help.  Why can’t we do this for one another too?  The greatest gift we can give to one another in our lifetime, is also the gift of forgiveness.

If we go back to the first reading today and read this line again, it makes much more sense now:

“Now to him who is able to accomplish far more than all we ask or imagine, by the power at work within us.”

God can draw a straight line with a crooked instrument.  We can’t see through all the messiness of our lives – but He can.  Believe it or not, sometimes when we have disagreements, differences of opinion, do something wrong, or hurt each other’s feelings, God has already taken all of that into consideration.  He already knows how we are inclined to react to things, and the sins that we may be predisposed by our nature to commit.  Yet, He still has a plan for our lives.  He still has a plan for our family, in spite of the messiness of our daily lives.

Today, we should think about working through any family problems we have.  Nothing is unsolvable.  There is no situation that is hopeless or without a solution if we turn to Jesus in prayer, and rely on him to guide us through it.  Our feet may falter in the darkness, but he is our rod and our staff in the dark valleys, the dark passages of our lives.  Jesus knows the way to peace, love and joy. Even if we get lost along the way, Jesus goes out to find us, and brings us back to the path of life, the path to genuine peace and love for one another.

 

 

Daily Mass Readings:

Ephesians 3: 14-21 / Psalm 33 / Luke 12: 49-53

About the Author

Hello! My name is Laura Kazlas. As a child, I was raised in an atheist family, but came to believe in God when I was 12 years old. I was baptized because of the words that I read in the bible. I later became a Catholic because of the Mass. The first time my husband brought me to Mass, I thought it was the most holy, beautiful sense of worshiping God that I had ever experienced. I still do! My husband John and I have been married for 37 years. We have a son, a daughter, and two granddaughters. We are in the process of adopting a three year old little girl. We live in Salem, Oregon in the United States. I currently serve as the program coordinator for Catholic ministry at a local maximum security men's prison. I‘m also a supervisor for Mount Angel Seminary’s field education program, in Oregon.

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3 Comments

  1. Laura! Sooo beautiful! Beautiful thoughts and interpretations for every family and everyone! We truly are ONE

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