If you are called into marriage then I believe it will afford you a unique opportunity to grow closer to God. Together a husband and wife become one and they face the world with all of its challenges, trials, and joys. Being married for almost 27 years I can attest that marriage is both beautiful and challenging. Today my husband and I enjoy multitudes of blessings because we continually choose to love, support and comfort each other while holding God at the center of our marriage.
Through my married life I have learned much – much that I believe can help other married couples today. The most important thing I have learned is that central to a Godly marriage lies that fact that each spouse is uniquely suited to love and support the other as a man and as a woman. When couples develop an understanding of this unique role they hold in one another’s lives their love can deepen profoundly. The world can be hard, a woman needs the masculine love a man offers and a man needs the feminine love a woman offers. In the eyes of God, husbands and wives hold the exclusive right to offer their love to one another.
ADAM AND HIS EVE
God created Adam and Eve to perfectly complement each other, serving and caring for one another as man and woman; and most importantly, as lovers of God. As a couple meets each other’s needs they not only grow closer to one another, they individually grow closer to God.
While I could write about how sin has entered the world and the painful effect this has on marriage and the family I will not. A quick look at the world and we can see we have a problem. After all, such sin led Moses to grant God’s people a bill of divorce.
Rather, I would like to share with you the beauty God intended for the relationship between husband and wife – beginning with Adam and Eve. It is my hope and prayer that married, engaged and dating couples around the world come to understand the gift they have in one another and the unique role they play in each other’s lives. I believe that the family stands at the foundation of the world and marriage is it’s cornerstone. No wonder it is under attack today.
I have written about the unique relationship that exists between couples in Chapter 13: The 9th Face of Struggle: Mother as Nurturer and Comforter my book, Understanding the Jesus Code. So please allow me to share with you an excerpt from my book in today’s reflection.
“Chapter 13: The 9th Face of Struggle: Mother as Nurturer and Comforter
We can do nothing ourselves; God must do it. To speak to Him thus is easier by nature for woman than for man because a natural desire lives in her to give herself completely to someone. – Edith Stein
YOUR FATHER’S ROLE IN THE CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD
We are ending The Nine Faces of Struggle with the first pain you experienced as a human being – separation from your mother. The one whose body supported you for nine months before your birth, and whose arms held you for much longer. She is likely the one who provided most of the comfort and nurture you received in your childhood. However, before you can better understand your relationship with your mother you must look at her relationship with your father.
While it may seem odd to begin a chapter on your relationship with your mother with a discussion on your father’s role in your family, it makes perfect sense and a look at the creation of man reveals why. Regardless of which account of creation you read in the Bible you will see that God made mankind both male and female to live a life together and it is from this relationship that the first children were born. Further, God not only made Adam and Eve in his image, he proclaimed his creation to be “very good”. While we can certainly never understand the mind of God, we can see that God choose to make mankind in his image in two distinctly different forms – male and female. One can only assume that within this creation we can find a fullness of love that is the image of divine love itself. In the second chapter of Genesis we are allowed a glimpse into the relationship between the first man and the first woman – our first parents.
YOUR FIRST PARENTS: ADAM AND EVE
Adam, the first man, was created from dust and after receiving the breath of life from God he was placed in the garden to till and keep it. From the beginning God created Adam to work and tend to God’s creation. However, God noticed that Adam was alone and in need of a helper and partner. Then, both creator and the one created, began a quest together. A quest in search for the perfect partner and companion for Adam. Side by side God and Adam witnessed the world coming together beautifully as they sought such a creature. One can imagine the delight that God and Adam must have taken in this most sacred and personal relationship in the garden. As God created every living creature, allowing Adam to name them all, they must have experienced real male bonding! You see, Adam was created to be in communion with God from the beginning and it is in this relationship that man finds his greatest joy because God was Adam’s first love.
However, none of the creations were a perfect mate for Adam. Adam needed a partner he could love and care for, one who was his complement and equal. God needed to create a very special creation for his beloved son, a creation that must be created differently than all the others. God knew Adam needed a companion drawn from his own bones and flesh, one that he would love as he loves himself. It was out of love that God created Eve for his son Adam.
Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken. Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. – Genesis 2:23-24 (RSVCE)
We can only imagine the delight on Adam’s face as he awoke and first gazed upon this beautiful masterpiece and precious gift God had created specifically for him – his Eve. Adam’s perfect partner, created from his own body, must have been the loveliest of all God’s creations. She was born in the garden God had entrusted into Adam’s care. Her beauty must have perfectly complemented the rugged Adam born of the dust. She would be the one to bring forth the beautiful feminine love Adam’s heart yearned for and in return, he would protect and care for her in his garden. Created from his own body, Adam would forever desire to draw his Eve back towards himself so he could care for her. Eve would forever desire to return back home to Adam, seeking his love and protection. The two began as one flesh and as one flesh God desired they remain, perfectly complementing and caring for each other.
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. – Mark 10: 6-9 (RSVCE)
YOUR EARTHLY PARENTS
Much like Eve, your mother also needs her Adam – your father. She needs him to care for her so she can then in turn care for you. Your father is called, like Adam was called, to protect and provide for the Eve he chose above all others – your mother. And like Adam, your father is called to care for her as he does his own body – to the point of sacrificing himself for her if required. The love between a man and a woman is meant to reveal to the world an image of the fullness of God’s love, a love that contains both the feminine and the masculine love of God. As a beautiful orchestra plays, the love between man and women reveals a completeness. A completeness that can only be fulfilled when God is found at the center of their love. As the masculine serves the feminine and the feminine follows the masculine, Adam serves his Eve and Eve follows her Adam.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, …In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies…. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, … Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.- Ephesians 5:25, 28-29, 33 (RSVCE)
Your parents held these primal needs as well. Your father needed your mother for comfort, nurture and feminine love and your mother needed your father for his protection, provision and masculine love. Inside of their relationship your parents were uniquely suited to fulfill these needs for one another. However, sin entered into the world and, as a result, the love your parents experienced was likely limited, blunted or perhaps vacant all together.”
Be blessed my friends. Be blessed in your marriages and in all relationships in your life. Together let’s honor each other for the unique gifts God has given us. Together let’s pray for happy and holy marriages so that all marriages become the expression of divine like love that God intends for his children to share and enjoy. – Carolyn
Saint Joseph and Mother Mary – pray for us.
Sacred Heart of Jesus – have mercy on us.
Today’s Readings: Ezekiel 16:59-63,; Psalm (Is 12); Matthew 19:3-12
