One piece of advice I’ve given to others who look to read the Bible is to try to get a sense of the whole text. What’s its underlying message? What does it try to impart? How does it reveal our relationship with God . . . and each other?
This is especially important when trying to glean meaning from a challenging passage, or from a quote that has been taken out of context. However, it’s also useful for gaining additional insight from less-difficult portions of the Bible. For example, today’s selection of the Gospel of Matthew is a fairly well-known bit of Scripture, detailing Christ’s guidance for how to resolve differences. It begins, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.”
That’s fairly solid advice! There’s no need to immediately take problems public if you have a problem with someone; talk to them! You might be surprised.
Christ continues, “If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.” Again, Jesus tells us to keep things low-key; establish the facts, present evidence, get folks to back you up.
Jesus then says that if the person still won’t listen, bring the matter up with the Church (that is, the larger community). And if they still refuse to listen to reason, then you treat them as an outsider (“as you would a Gentile or a tax collector”).
It’s all solid advice! In the Internet era, how many people immediately take every perceived slight to the public, firing up global bloodlust amid a social-media firestorm? That’s antithetical to the advice that Jesus gave. How many people immediately gossip to their friends, spilling private details before attempting to go to the ones who seemingly wronged them? Again, that’s not following Christ’s message.
But as I mentioned earlier, while individual passages of the Bible can provide wonderful insight, it’s really meant to be taken as a whole. For example, Matthew 7:1-5 has Jesus talking about not judging others: “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye?”
In my own life, I combine those two by noting that – yes – it’s useful to confront someone who’s sinned against you . . . but I try to make sure my own house is in order before I do so. A friend tells lies; sure, that’s not great, but does he lie because I explode at him whenever he is too frank with the truth? An associate at church overcommits to projects, and then falls through? If I knew she’s done this in the past, why did I ask her? (Did I stop to think that maybe volunteering for too many projects was a challenge for her?)
Similarly, Jesus also tells us in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35) that we should be eager to forgive others, since the eternal forgiveness of sin offered by our heavenly Father far eclipses the meager debts we can incur on earth. “Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he could pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”
Yes, there are definitely times when we need to confront others and tell them they have wronged us. Jesus gives us a clear and easy path to do just that in today’s Gospel selection (a path that limits confrontation and collateral damage). But Christ also calls us to examine ourselves for faults before we rush to judge others, and to be quick to forgive others . . . as many times as needed.
The gentleness of Christ comes through again in his words and deeds. Use the bare minimum power to keep others in harmony with the community . . . and before you do that, you should apply at least as much effort to examining your own heart and conscience. Thanks be to God for giving us such clear insight into living in unity, and for showing us that true might comes in restraint!
