Sirach 3:13 and Colossians 3:13. These are two verses in the readings today that stand out to me. Not only in how they have the same chapter and verse, but how both talk about forbearance. Well, at least in the Bible version I use. In the Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, these verses go like this:
Even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength, do not despise him.
Sirach 3:13
forbearing one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other;
Colossians 3:13
Forbearance. What does that mean? It means to keep back. To refrain. To hold back. To be patient and self-controlled when annoyed or provoked.
Funny how this reading falls in the midst of two holidays when we are around family so much, because it is indeed with our families where we need the most forbearance in our lives. And this time of year, we are around our families much more. In fact, today is the Feast of the Holy Family.
And so, the readings today first focus on the love and respect and forbearance we must show towards our parents, and the rewards in doing so, but then transition into the love and respect and forbearance we must show each other – our spouses, our children, our siblings, and the list goes on and on.
But with our families, with years of history and, often a great deal of baggage, trailing us, and with differing opinions, understanding, and circumstances surrounding us – the need for forbearance is paramount. One of the many lessons that we can learn and further mold this time of year is that of increasing our compassion, patience, our restraint and self-control. Because if we can’t show this in our families, how can we expect to show this to the rest of the world. How can we expect our children and each other to live this if we aren’t willing to live it?
We’ve all seen and experienced the lack of forbearance in our own families, and in the world today. And yes, we’ve all contributed to it from time to time. The important thing is to examine our actions regularly, and identify those areas where we can grow. This is all God wants. Even if that means being humble. Especially through being humble.
That’s why I love the events from the Gospel today, one we all know very well, where Jesus stays behind in Jerusalem without telling His parents. He goes to His Father’s house, the temple, and starts to teach the teachers a thing or two about life, and love, and God. Mary and Joseph are scared and frantic because they cannot find their 12-year-old son. Anyone who has lost their child for a split second can appreciate their anxiety.
Once they find Him, Jesus is like, “What? Well, where else would I be? Why are you so concerned?”
But Mary and Joseph did not understand. Jesus realized this. He exercised humility. He recognized the anguish and fear that He had caused in His earthly parents, and while He knew and understood a much bigger picture, Mary and Joseph were just frightened of losing their boy. Rather than scolding them and lecturing them, Jesus was obedient. He likely apologized and cried with them as they hugged, as He was hurting inside because they were hurting. He showed them forbearance, as written in Sirach 3:13:
Even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength, do not despise him.
We should all learn from this example. We should all live this example in our lives, with all those around us. Be patient. Not everyone is of the same understanding, of the same opinion. We all have things that annoy us, and we all do things that annoy others. We all get hurt from time to time, and we all hurt someone else from time to time.
We can’t let these petty differences overshadow the love and respect we should show one another. And often this means self-control, holding back and refraining from saying or doing something we shouldn’t, something that will be hurtful. This is not to say that we should not admonish one another when there is a wrong or when someone is headed down a dangerous path, or that we should just let things fester. But there is a time and a place for everything, and loving and respectful way to go about it.
And a little forbearance will go a long way.
