(1 KGS 17:10-16; PS 146:7, 8-9, 9-10; HEB 9:24-28; MK 12:38-44)
Some things just seem impossible. Running a marathon. Getting out from under that mountain of debt. Climbing out of the abyss of addiction. Doing God’s work in a God-less world. Simply being Christian. Being Catholic.
All of us have things in our lives that just seem insurmountable, where we feel we’re not strong enough and where we’re afraid to fail. Taking on a new job. Losing a job. Fighting cancer. Perhaps a call to the priesthood or religious life. Or just following God’s calling in general.
Maybe we wonder how we’re going to pay those bills, or we’re just so busy we’re burning the candle at both ends, life becomes too much.
In these times, when it seems too tough, or too scary, or too unbelievable – we don’t need to have it all figured out. Sure, we can take steps to try to better our situation – but each step should be accompanied by one thing – trust in God.
Trust that God will provide. Just as the widow did in the first reading today. She trusted in God, speaking through Elijah, that He would provide food. Even when Elijah asked for something to eat, for her to feed him first and give him her last bit of food – she trusted that God would provide. And He did.
Jesus did this as well. At times throughout His Passion, Jesus was scared. As he agonized in the garden, He asked to be relieved of this task. On the Cross, He asked His Father, “Why have you forsaken me?” There were times where He was unsure how He was going to do this task, and save the world from sin – but then through all the agony, pain, and aloneness – He trusted in His Father to provide. And God delivered.
And then there’s the poor widow from the Gospel today. She gave the treasury all that she had. It surely hurt her to give what she did. She didn’t give from surplus. What she gave required major sacrifice in other areas of her life. Maybe she no longer had money for food and could not eat. She definitely could not go out and buy new clothes. But she gave anyway. She gave more than she could afford, because she knew deep down that is what she should do. She knew that it was the sacrifice – the hurt – and the love from the heart that would save her. It’s the hurt and accepting the hurt for the betterment of someone else that makes us stronger.
God experienced this. He sacrificed His only Son – and experienced the hurt of watching Him go through what He did – but knew it was for the betterment of humanity. He knew it was to save us, and He knew that the hurt would make His people stronger and through His son, build a strong Catholic, Christian Church. God sacrificed – a sacrifice that hurt – for all of us.
This is what we’re called to do. So often we give, but we give from surplus. So often we sacrifice, but not enough to hurt.
Whether it’s money we give to the Church or charity, or services we provide through our time and talents, or maybe an unpopular thing we need to say, we have to make it hurt. Otherwise it’s not a sacrifice. It’s just a nice gesture, but we don’t feel it in our soul. Often we give but we don’t give from our heart. We’re afraid to give because it may prevent us from enjoying something we perceive to be better.
The same holds true for our sins, those things that separate us from God. We want to stop sinning, but we think we can do it on our own. Or we think that God will not save or forgive us. Many times we don’t believe that He can help us through our afflictions, or provide for us in times of need, when things seem so dire and all hope is nearly lost. We’re afraid to give ourselves during these times to Him, and we’re afraid to offer our struggles to Him.
We’re afraid to make it hurt, because we’re hurting enough already.
But what the readings show today, and something that I am learning by the day, is that the path to God’s grace is through sacrifice – making it hurt. I’m not talking about inflicting physical pain on oneself (unless you are a marathoner, but even then there is grace!), but in making it hurt in various aspects of our life.
Giving money to charity, or for the betterment of someone else, even when you feel you have nothing left to give, even if you’re not sure how you’ll pay the bills. Giving time to your kids, and to your spouse, even when you just want to relax and crash on the couch after a busy day. Using the gifts you’ve been given by God to serve others, and better the lives of others – even when you think you can’t do it or that it’s impossible. Forgiving yourself, and others, and asking for God’s forgiveness – even when you think you can’t. It’s just doing what you know is right, for the love of one another and of God.
God will provide for you. If we give through sacrificing a part of ourselves, or our whole selves, deep from a loving and generous heart – He will provide. He will provide the money. He will provide the time. He will provide the means. He will provide the Grace. It may not seem like it, but it’s all about what we can give, and God loves the little sacrifices in life.
Jesus gave Himself up for all of humanity. It hurt to the point that He suffered torture for hours and then died for us. God made us each for a reason, with a specific plan in mind, each with a combination gifts that no one else has. He gave up His son and Jesus offered Himself for our salvation, and we have a duty and a responsibility to give all we got back to Him through those gifts He entrusted in us.
But when we give back to him, whether it is in our charity, our work, our families, or our communities – we have to make it hurt, for His grace is found through the sacrifice.
