(1 Tm 1:15-17; Ps 113:1b-7; Lk 6:43-49)
“I can change them.”
How many times have we made that statement about someone we want to be with? They may be haunted by the past, engaged in self-destructive behaviors, hold values that are in direct contrast to our own or simply have habits we abhor and yet, we ignore the obvious signs of incompatibility and throw caution to the wind believing that with enough time, love and understanding, we can convince them to change for the better. In other words, we plunge headlong into a situation that can only end in heartbreak for us.
The late Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” and in today’s Gospel Jesus makes a similar point to His disciples using the analogy of a tree and its fruit. He says there is much to be learned about a tree by the fruit it produces because the fruit is the stand out feature. It is the first thing you see. Everything that went into that tree from the seed to the soil to the weather and environment around it affects the fruit and if that fruit is flawed, chances are those flaws stem from a much deeper place, one that is not easily changed.
Logically, we understand this concept. It’s basic science, after all. We know that if we plant an apple tree in dry, rocky soil, it’s unlikely to produce a bumper crop of Granny Smiths. But time and time again we enter into relationships that are not right for us, let our hearts rule our heads and invest a mind numbing amount of time and effort on what is essentially a fruitless pursuit while at the same time, hoping for a different outcome. It is the very definition of insanity.
Christ encourages us to evaluate those who come into our lives. To consider the fruit and then take them as they are. Although some branches may need pruning and some blooms are better than others, when raised upon the right foundation, you will be happy with what it yields and you won’t feel compelled to try and change it.
