The Power of Forgiveness

Unforgiveness causes our hearts such needless pain. It is the thief that steals from us infinite gifts our heavenly Father wants to bless us with, it steals from us our birthright – a birthright that calls us to love one another as Christ loves us. If we but only forgive we will experience such blessings from our heavenly Father. The peace of Christ and his word will dwell within us, gratitude will fill our hearts, we will experience love towards those who cause us harm (remember, perfect Love cast out all fear), God will bless us with gifts overflowing and we will experience his mercy.

Today’s scripture reveals to us a portion of the greatness God has for us when we love, when we forgive, when we are kind, humble, and gentle. The gifts offered us are so rich, how could any human want anything else? Yet, we fall short of receiving the blessings John and Jesus speak of today. And why… or should I say how? How can we miss out?

Unforgiveness my friends. Over my many years in practice I have witnessed unforgiveness steal peace, hope and joy from my patient’s lives – and mine own as well. However, this is not God’s plan, he does not want his children to suffer such pain. He gave us the way out, he gave us forgiveness and I believe it is through forgiveness that we will come into our fullness as His children. When we love and forgive others and ourselves sin loses it’s grip on us, we become free and God’s blessings appear in our lives. However, like everything it takes repetition to perfect.

Our brain, which has over 12,000 – 60,000 thoughts per day, can get stuck on the same painful thoughts of unforgiveness, hatred, judgement, resentment, anger and rage. Today science is revealing the harmful physical effects of toxic thoughts in our lives, which many times are passed down to our children. How many thoughts do you have every day of joy, peace, love for others, gratitude for God, forgiveness for those who harm you? Or, are your thoughts filled with anger, resentment, revenge or unforgiveness?

Whatever you find running through your mind know that you can change this pattern, you can more fully align your mind with the mind of God by experiencing thoughts and emotions of love, joy, happiness and forgiveness. Our loving God gave us free will and we can choose him. I know forgiveness sounds hard – maybe impossible sometimes. I know it sometimes feels “good” to hold a grudge, to withhold forgiveness, to be angry (I have been there too my friends). However, I also know your heart can change and you can experience the beauty God has for you.

OK sounds great Carolyn – but how can I do it, how can I forgive? – many a patient has asked me this very question. This is when I sometimes share The Forgiveness Circle Meditation, requesting they repeat it often throughout the day . Put it up on the bathroom mirror, the kitchen cabinet, the car dashboard – anywhere where it can serve to remind oneself to speak the words “I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me and thank-you” during moments of anger, fear, resentment, judgement and unforgiveness – when the mind is full of painful thoughts that separate us from God and his love. I’ll share it with you here (I understand this will make for a very long reflection today; however, I wanted to give you something you could use so that you could more fully experience the goodness today’s scripture promises us.)

 

The L.I.V.E. Method: Forgiveness Circle Meditation

I’m Sorry, Thank You, Please Forgive Me, I Love You

 

By Carolyn Berghuis, MS, ND, CTN

As we move through life we will, undoubtedly (after all this is Planet Earth…), encounter moments with other individuals that leave us feeling hurt. This hurt, when left to fester, can lead to unmistakable and sometimes unbearable pain for those involved. Moving away from pain can be challenging; however, by utilizing the “Forgiveness Circle Meditation” you can often transcend and transform pain – using the pain to circle more fully back to God. The “Forgiveness Circle Meditation”, which I adapted from a Hawaiian healing process called ho’oponopono by Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, is an incredibly rich method of diffusing and addressing pain in a very multifaceted, loving way.

Painful emotions such as anger, fear, rage, hurt, or resentment can be transformed with forgiveness. All we need to do is look to Jesus to see the undeniable power of forgiveness. By bringing forth this power you can not only free yourself of emotional pain that results from harmful experiences, you can foster deep spiritual growth within yourself. The “Forgiveness Circle Meditation” can be used anytime you find yourself removed from the joy, happiness, and/or the peace God has for you.

Step 1: Meditation

The following words make up the Forgiveness Circle Meditation: I’m Sorry, Thank You, Please Forgive Me and I Love You. By saying them (in no particular order) in your heart or out loud, until you feel a sense of peace, you can often transend the pain and transform it into the emotions God intends in your life.

 

Step 2: Reflection on Meditation Segment

As you meditate it can be very helpful to bring forth additional reflection. You may find it helpful to direct the words of the meditation towards the other person involved, another person whom you have harmed in a similar way in the past or directly towards God. Here are a few suggestions for each segment of the meditation you may want to bring forth. Feel free to pick and choose as feels right for you. Additionally, you may find your own adaptation as well.

 

Mantra Segment: “I’m Sorry”: Bringing forth the energy of “I’m Sorry” helps to clear the air between you and the other person involved. “I’m Sorry” has an energy of peace, an offering of an olive branch so to speak.

Saying “I’m Sorry” to:

1. The other person involved: By saying “I’m Sorry” we are fessing up to our part of the exchange – often it takes two to tango… Saying “I’m Sorry” is an act of humility and inner strength.
2. Another whom we may have wronged in a similar manner: This option gives us the perfect time to bring forth healing in another relationship where we were the “perpetrator”.
3. God: Here we are saying I’m sorry to God for whatever part we are playing in this relationship that is not pleasing to Him. Sometimes we don’t even know we have offended God. Offering the “I’m Sorry” directly to God can be extremely therapeutic for those who have suffered a great injustice or injury. When this is the case simply bringing forth the energy of “I’m Sorry” comes into the space of pain and this is always more soothing to the soul then victimhood or injury.

 

Meditation Segment: “Thank You”: To say thank you when we have been hurt expresses gratitude for the growth we receive during the experience. When we encounter pain we have two choices; either become better or bitter. By being grateful for the hard times and surrendering them to God we will indeed become better as we grow more fully towards Him.

Saying “Thank You” to:

1. The other person involved: Without this person standing in the “perpetrator” position we would not feel the pain that resulted from the picture – obviously. However, without this specific pain we would not have the unique opportunity to grow through the forgiveness that it presents. It is through hard times that we grow closer to God – should we choose to allow this. Remember, no one who fully knows God hurts another. Being the perpetrator is a painful space to be in too – as we all already know…
2. Another whom we may have wronged in a similar manner: This one can be tough. Here we are giving gratitude towards someone who stood in the victim space when we stood in the perpetrator space. By thanking them we acknowledge their suffering and we lift them up out of victim energy. This act gives their pain value because, as perpetrator, we will grow through this as well.
3. To God: Giving God gratitude for the pain experienced through this picture, surrendering it to the Cross and asking Him to take it, transform it and turn it around so that this pain only serves His Kingdom is an offering God gladly receives from us.

 

Meditation Segment: “Please Forgive Me”: To observe the power of Forgiveness we only need only to look towards Christ Crucified. “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do”. Additionally, a reflection on “The Lord’s Prayer” further drives the point home; “… forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…” The grace of forgiveness has the power to erase pain and sin. How do you feel when someone who has harmed you asks for your forgiveness? Does it tear down walls? Does it soften you? Does it make them more human to you? More vulnerable?

Saying “Please Forgive Me” to:

1. The other person involved: By saying “Please Forgive Me” we are taking ownership of our part – again, it often takes two to tango… “Please Forgive Me” diffuses anger, resentment, hurt and opens the door to transformation and love.
2. Another whom we may have wronged in a similar manner: This option offers the perfect time to bring forth healing in another picture where we were the “perpetrator”.   Additionally, it allows us to connect with our “victim” in a very unique and “real” way. We all play both roles throughout our loves; we are both victim and perpetrator.
3. God: Here we are asking God to forgive us for any part we played in the picture that was not pleasing to Him. A beautiful offering…

 

Meditation Segment:” I Love You”: I Love You! How does it feel to say or receive those words? Bringing forth the vibration of “I love you” into a picture of pain provides comfort beyond words. Why? Because, God the source of all good is love! We are offering “God” with these three beautiful words.

Saying “I Love You” to:

1. The other person involved: Love has the power to tear down walls, to diffuse pain and to transform all evil. We love the “sinner” not the sin. The perpetrator’s behavior is something intimate between themselves and God; it is not between us and them. However, how we respond to their behavior is between us and God.
2. Another whom we may have wronged in a similar manner: To say “I love you” to someone whom we have injured is to expose our heart and experience internal conflict and shame. How can we hurt someone we love? It happens… To look at them with love instead of the anger, rage or frustration etc. you felt previously will help transform the previous hurt energy and free both of you from the pain.
3. God: Yes, He likes to hear “I love you” too! God created us so He can feel our love in return and be in relationship with us. He sends us His love, unconditionally and never-ceasing. He deeply desires to have His love circle back to him! We are His special creations; unlike any other. ell Him you love him often!!!

 

By incorporating the Forgiveness Circle Meditation on a regular basis when you experience pain you will become witness to the power of God in your life. Go ahead – give it a whirl!

 

Jesus – I love you, Please forgive me, Thank-you and I’m sorry!

 

(Col 3:12-17; Ps 150:1b-2, 3-4, 5-6; 1 Jn 4:12 Lk 6:27-28)