Although I have been blessed with a great many gifts, patience isn’t one of them. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you…I have a zero tolerance policy for just about anything that forces me to cool my heels longer than a couple of seconds and I tend to get testy over anyone or anything that gives me cause to pause.
I yell at drivers who take their sweet time finding the gas pedal after the traffic light has turned green. I sigh audibly when surrounded by people who are indecisive about what they want to do or where they want to go and I tend to attack every task as if someone is standing over me with a stopwatch…even those that are designed for relaxation. I am all about immediate results and when I can’t get them, I tend to cut my losses and run. It’s not a positive aspect of my personality and over the years God has done His level best to try and correct the error of my ways, but nothing worked until I became the parent of a special needs child.
My youngest son was a radical departure from his brother who was one of those “perfect” first children that hit every milestone early, eat everything you put in front of them and cause you to think you are the greatest mother since Mary. “Boy Wonder” was a picky eater, did everything at his own pace and exhibited a lack of motivation that seemed out of place in a family full of overachievers. In addition to a slight developmental delay, he was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of eight, Asperger’s Syndrome a year later and no matter where he was planted, he simply wouldn’t bloom.
He was average at best, below average at worse and did not respond to threats, bribes or my oft-repeated plea to “straighten up and fly right.” One day I became so frustrated with him that during a heated moment I muttered something about God giving him to me in order to teach me patience.
Without missing a beat, the boy shot back, “Well if that’s the case, you haven’t learned anything yet.”
His words stopped me cold. It was as though God himself was speaking through my son and telling me that until I got over myself, reprioritized my life and actually invested in his growth and development, I would keep spinning my wheels and getting no where. I had mountains of research, study tips and learning strategies at my fingertips, yet I hadn’t slowed down long enough to put them into action. I knew the clinical definitions and told them to anyone who would stand still long enough to listen, but I had not absorbed them yet. I planted, but I had not cultivated. I had not fertilized. I was concerned with the superficial but had not connected to the spirit and in doing so; I only gave my son half a chance.
Today’s readings force us to slow down, look at the priorities in our lives and to put in the effort necessary to grow closer to God. It takes time and patience and sometimes it yields few results. However, if we remain focused and live our lives with purpose when the harvest comes, we will be ready.
