Saturday March 11, 2023: The Prodigal Daughter

Today’s Readings

In 2017 Elise, my oldest daughter and myself were celebrating Christmas for a few days at my brother’s house. Along with a large number of our extended family. Just a wonderful weekend spent reconnecting and sharing memories. Until it wasn’t. Right near the end of the weekend things blew up in our faces as my daughter took offense to something that was said and decided she was going to leave. My wife convinced me to go and talk to my daughter and get her to change her mind. I went…reluctantly…to discuss things with her. Things quickly escalated and after some raised voices and not so nice comments…on both sides…she left. And stopped speaking to us. We continued to write and call to leave messages about what was happening in our lives. All the while trying desperately to keep up a line of communication.

This lasted for a year. It was the toughest thing Elise and I had to deal with. There was no way to make amends and sort things out since calls, texts and emails went unreturned. During this time we found out just how many of our friends were not talking to their children because they elected to just cut their parents off rather than discuss and resolve disagreements. Seemingly uncaring as to the anguish they were putting their parents through.

Just about one year later, our daughter contacted us and asked if we could meet to talk. This was around Thanksgiving time and she had decided to return to the Chicago area, stay at a nearby hotel and set aside some time for us to meet at a local restaurant. Elise and I quickly agreed. We also discussed ahead of time how we would approach things. It would have been very easy to get into another argument by debating who did what to who and who was responsible for what. We didn’t want that. We didn’t see that this would turn out to benefit anyone. So we decided to just listen. And boy did we have a lot to listen to!!

For almost three hours our daughter detailed everything that had been bothering her since she was young. Occasions we had long forgotten about, or remembered differently, but obviously still holding significance in her life. We listened…and listened..and listended. At the end of the three hours all of us were laughing, smiling and enjoying a cold breakfast. And she elected to come home for Thanksgiving dinner. Probably one of the best holidays we have had. She left shortly afterwards to move to Senegal where she now is married, has a business and three great sons. We talk several times per week. We have the occasional disagreement but we always talk after a few days and repair things. We forgive each other. She recognizes that she is not perfect. And we understand that we also have recently ceased being right about everything. 🙂

Forgiveness starts with communication and love. The understanding that life holds much more than holding onto grudges and past hurts. In today’s Gospel comes the all too familiar story of the Prodigal Son…the Loving Father…and the Ticked Off Brother. Apparently cutting off parents is not a new thing as the Son must have had some disagreement with Dad for him to essentially flip Dad the bird and head east. Or whatever direction caught his fancy. He basically treated his Father as if he were dead. But Dad hung in there. In the story we read how the Father saw his son coming when he was still a long way off. For that to be the case he had to be scanning the horizon every day hoping his son would make an appearance.

When they met up, the son was prepared to recite the diatribe he had in an attempt to win his way back as a hired hand. But the Father was having none of that. Before the son could finish, the Father was lavishing greetings, jewelry, clothes and a feast on his son. No petty retelling of past hurts. Just merciful acceptance back. All that mattered was that the son who was dead, has returned. And this is how God treats each of us. Accepting us back into the family when we ask and ask to be forgiven. No questions asked as if it never happened.

The brother had a different view of it all. He was really upset. Here his “good for nothing” brother returns after blowing his Father’s inheritance and is accepted back without consequence. Now remember, the brother who stayed behind did not lose anything. He has his inheritance. He has his Father’s love. But he wants more. He wants his brother to pay. Make him earn his Father’s love back. He should work for it. Be made to suffer. But that is not what God tells us. In the words from a hymn by Marty Haugen:

Return to God with all your heart, the source of grace and mercy;
come seek the tender faithfulness of God.

Forgive…70 times 7. As a result, we get to be grandparents to three amazing grandsons and also have a relationship with our daughter and son-in-law. Sometimes, being right isn’t all its cracked up to be.

About the Author

Hello! My name is John Ciribassi. I live in Carol Stream, IL in the USA. My wife Elise and I are parishioners at Corpus Christi Catholic Church. We have two adult daughters. One lives in Senegal, West Africa with her husband and her 3 sons. The other teaches Anthropology at the University of Oslo, Norway. We also have a home in Mainesburg, Pa in the North Central part of Pennsylvania. My wife and I are both retired veterinarians, and my specialty is in animal behavior. I attended college and veterinary school in Illinois, where I met my wife who is from the Chicago area, and the rest is history! My hobbies include Racquetball, Pickleball, Off Road Motorcycle Riding, Hiking and Camping. I continue to enjoy the opportunity to offer what little insight I have on the scriptures. But I have always felt that the scriptures can speak for themselves. My job is just to shine a little light on them for people who maybe don't have the time to look into the readings deeply. I hope you enjoy and find value in my writings. I continue to be grateful for this opportunity.

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12 Comments

  1. Thank you John. What a heart warming story. This is the perfect example that God’s mercy and love never fail. You and Mrs C planted the seeds of love in the heart of your daughter many years ago…sometimes things take time to grow. Blessings and peace to you and you family. As for being right…its overrated.

  2. Thank you Dr. John. Wonderful reflection. I think at one point in our lives, we will be the prodigal son, the resentful brother, forgiving father. I’m sure that time in your life was quite painful being estranged. I’m glad its better. Also, I pray your foot is healing too!

  3. Your reflection touched my heart and soul. I never associated our situation with this gospel. Thank you for sharing a difficult time.in your life.

  4. Thank you for the reflection. I think so many of us can identify with your experience. I know looking back I have been the prodigal daughter, and I have witnessed this so many times in my own family &with relatives, friends. Life is short and holding grudges & resentment robs you & them of precious time together. I hope we can all trust Jesus & put our fears, worries & differences at the foot of cross. God bless you & your family.

  5. I love this one John. What a true testament to the bumpiness of family life….and the choices we make to forgive, or not. Forgiveness opens the doors to healing. I guess Jesus knew that it was best for us. May He give us all the grace to forgive others. Amen.

  6. Thank you for sharing your story John.I’m glad that you and Elise were able to salvage your relationship with your daughter and that love and forgiveness on both sides brought you closer and mended fences.
    God does indeed move in mysterious ways.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story and bringing light into the meaning of today’s readings.

  8. Thank you John for sharing this story about your family. I have gone through a similar situation with my daughter but it only lasted a month. Our relationship is good now thank God. Praying Jesus continues to bless you and your family ☺️🙏🏼

  9. Thanks John for sharing your story…a great testament to the joy of forgiveness and reconciliation! In the gospel, it is also understandable why the brother felt that way…I’m sure we’d probably feel the same. But, the father, just as our Father in heaven, is loving and forgiving. Let us trust in God’s endless mercy and love!

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