It was the fall of 1985. Elise and I were living in the small town of Blossburg, Pa and I would soon be joining her on the veterinary staff of the Troy Veterinary Clinic. Life was good. We had great jobs working for wonderful people. We loved the area we were living in. We had just gotten married. And we had a cat. Then we got a call. My Father had spent much of that summer coughing. He attributed it to a summer cold. Then he began coughing up blood. He decided that maybe it was time to get things looked at. He got x-rays done and, when they found a mass in his lungs, they did a biopsy. It was that October that they got the results and we got the call.
We had a family friend who was a physician and he was on staff at the same hospital that my Father had gotten the biopsy done. He was calling me with the results. I am not sure who this call was harder for. Me, as my Father’s son getting some of the worse news possible. Or Richie for having to give me this news. I had to make this type of call many times before for pet owners whose pet was terminal. But having to give this news about someone’s parent? Way harder. And what made matters more difficult for Rich was the fact that I knew what he was saying when describing the results of the biopsy.
You know the saying, “Ignorance is bliss”? Well, this is true at times. I think it would have been way better if I was not aware of just how this thing would progress. He had Small Oat Cell Carcinoma that had begun to metastasize. When I got off the phone, I remember crying to Elise saying that I knew how this was going to progress over the next six months. I could not go along with blind hope as I could if I did not have the medical knowledge that I had. The fear that came with that knowledge was unbearable. My Father died in May of 1986. Seven months from the diagnosis. This in spite of all the testing, radiation and chemotherapy. All man’s best efforts.
At that time I would have called myself a faithful Catholic. But in reality I was a CINO. Catholic In Name Only. I did not leave my Father’s care in God’s hands. I did not arrange to have him receive Anointing of the Sick. I didn’t ask a priest to come visit my Dad at home or in the hospital. Why should I? We had doctors to care for his condition. I would certainly have done things differently if this would have happened today. It doesn’t mean I would have cut out medical treatment for my Dad, but I would have added Christ to the treatment protocol.
Today’s readings are all about Fear. They are about fear of God. In the first reading from Sirach we hear how God created humans and gave them many gifts. We received ears, eyes, a tongue, the ability to discern, And the knowledge of good and evil. Through these gifts we developed an ability to explore and learn about the world that God gave us to live in. And we used these tools to learn about the earth, the seas and the universe around us. We have discovered medical miracles. And we have built marvels of engineering to overcome some of earth’s obstacles. Great deeds to be sure. But through all of this we often face a dilemma.
We are in danger of believing that we can become gods in our own right. That we accomplish these great feats because of our own abilities. Independent of any “higher power”. Arrogance can swell in us when we don’t recognize the Creator in all that we do. Or that we take on the attitude that anything that can be done, should be done. Just because we can clone a human does not mean that we should. Just because we can join an egg and sperm in a dish and implant it into a women’s uterus, does not mean we should. Or just because you can write a college paper using artificial Intelligence, does not mean you should. We have a God who wants us to walk with Him and be guided by Him so that we can best follow His will. He teaches and leads us through the Scripture, Prayer, Sacraments and Adoration. And one other factor…Fear.
Today’s Psalm reads “The Lord’s Kindness is everlasting to those who fear Him”. In the Gospel of Mark today we hear the familiar story of children coming to be with Jesus and the Apostles trying to send them away. But Jesus issues the command to “Let the children come to Me. The Kingdom of God belongs to ones such as these”. We should not be arrogant and self centered but put the Lord at the Center. And we do this by fearing Him. Not to be afraid of Him but to fear Him. To be in Awe of, and submissive to, God in all things. To be reverent, repentant and be humble in His presence.
Ecclesiastes says “He who increases in knowledge, increases in sorrow,” (Ecclesiastes 1:18)
I know that was me when my Dad was sick. All that knowledge that I had, divorced from the guidance of God, led to sorrow each step of the way with his illness. The more we see the world and our lives as being only up to us. The more we see everything as dependent on us, a natural outgrowth of knowledge acquisition apart from God’s guidance, the more fear of the world we have. It is as if we have a choice to either Fear God, or fear everything else. We let ourselves at times be overcome by fear of natural disasters, illness and politics. Instead let us put all things in perspective. Have a healthy fear of the Lord, surrendering from fear of all that the world has to throw at us.
- Proverbs 3:7“Be not wise in your own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil”
- Psalm 56:3-4“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
