So how did this guy get to be the first pope?!! I know he is responsible for spreading the Gospel to the Jews and to the Gentiles and that he was crucified upside down, but what did Jesus see in him early on? It was almost like Jesus could see into the future or something! Knowing what Peter was to become.
In Mark 8:31-33 we hear Jesus telling the disciples of how he must suffer and die then rise after three days. I am guessing the other apostles were riveted to the story and did not know what to say. How to respond….not Peter. He was like, “hey Jesus, I am not sure you know what you are saying here. Not the best way to motivate the troops.” Peter REBUKED Jesus! Rebuked! I looked it up. It means to deliver sharp criticism or disapproval. Wow. Not the way to address someone who you had called the Son of the Living God.
Then there is the story in Mark, chapter 14 where he begins to walk on the Sea of Galilee but only to sink when he loses faith that Jesus can hold him up. He doubts the one who walked on water himself. Peter is characterized in the Gospels as being impetuous. He does not take the time to stop and consider the options.
He was the one who cut off the ear of Malchus the slave in the garden when Jesus was getting arrested. Jesus has to play the rebuke card again here. This was the “he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword” narrative. Jesus has to cover for Peter again as he heals Malchus’ ear.
Of course, we all know about the denial during the Passion. He assures Jesus during the Last Supper that he would NEVER deny Christ…EVER. But just a few hours later, he is swearing to have never met the man.
And this brings us to today’s Gospel. Now remember, this event is happening on the shores of the Sea of Galilee. Jesus is resurrected. He has appeared to the disciples already and assured them who He was. He has done the old, throw the net over the other side trick again with the same results….tons of fish. He is waiting for them with a meal prepared. Some call this scene the Last Breakfast. Peter again jumps in without a moment’s thought and swims to the Lord. After eating, Jesus apparently reveals that all, but one, will have a martyr’s death. But also implies that one, the disciple that Jesus loved (presumably, John), would not die this type of death. He never said that he would not die, just not as a martyr.
Well, Peter is all over Jesus’ comments about John like flies to honey. What do you mean NOT HIM!! What are we? Chopped Liver!!? You could almost see the red face under Peter’s beard. Eyes bulging, veins in his neck throbbing. Now it is also good to remember that this was right after the scene where Peter tells the Lord that he loves him three times and after Jesus informs him of the Rock thing. He just told Peter he was to be the foundation of the Church. How did Christ not say to him, after his outburst, “umm…that thing about the rock? Yeah, not so much now”.
Peter also reveals his jealous side towards John. Comparing what he has and will become to John. Maybe he is recalling James and John asking to be at Jesus’ right and left hands. Coincidentally, though we know there is no such thing as coincidences, when prepping for this refection I read the following quote from St. Barsanuphius:
“Do not seek to be regarded as somebody, don’t compare yourself to others in anything. Leave the world, mount the cross, discard all earthly things, shake the dust from off your feet.”
I think Peter is a lot like all of us. At least he is like me. I certainly tend to act first then think later. When doing some mechanical work on the motorcycle or around the house I first jump in and mess things up then I decide to read instructions or look it up on youtube. I also tend to get a false sense of self when I am complimented. I get puffed up and think I am all that now. Just like Peter I think. Then God reaches down and puts us back in our place. He humbles us.
And jealousy? How many of us have not felt the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. That someone else got dealt the better hand? It is as old as time. I mean Cain was not real happy with God’s response to Abel when comparing their offerings. I was at a veterinary conference last year and I was up for a position on the board of directors of an association I am a member of. I did not get the position. I am still grumbling about that today and cannot understand why the other person got the vote instead of me.
And it would be an awfully special person, when faced with possible punishment of the type that Peter was seeing Jesus undergo, to not deny knowing the Lord. No matter what you had just said a few hours earlier. Heck we will deny being a Christian to friends just so we don’t look uncool.
The point is that Peter is us. He has all the weaknesses and character faults that we all do. He was not perfect as we are not perfect. We can be jealous, self-centered, weak, fearful, quick to act and slow to consider and display a temper. But we can also be saints. We are called to be saints. We can reform. We can ask forgiveness. We can love…a sacrificial love. And when we learn to do that, even for brief moments, we see a glimpse of what God is like and what we can become. Maybe not Pope but, even better, we can be Christ to those who God places in our paths every day.
