I think we may all be familiar with the 5 stages of grief that was first described by Swiss psychiatrist, Dr. Elisabeth Kübler. It states that people who go through trauma and loss go through some or all of 5 stages of grieving: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Some get stuck on one stage, such as depression while others move through the various stages and reach acceptance. Personally I have lost both my parents and my older brother. I was very sad for a period of time with my Mom and Dad in that they had long protracted illnesses which gave me time to adjust to what was going to happen. I experienced a bit of denial at first with my Dad when I learned that he had lung cancer. I didn’t want to believe it since I knew what was coming.
My older brother had a cerebral aneurysm. This is a sudden rupture of an enlarged blood vessel in the brain. Severe bleeding causes often irreversible brain damage in a very short period of time. He lasted 10 years but was never close to the brother I knew before the illness. I think the hardest part for me is the inability to share life events with them. I know they are there for me but it is not the same. Can’t pick up the phone and tell them that their great grandchild learned to walk last month. But all in all, I’m good. I think I would say Acceptance is a good description of where I am.
Today’s first reading is from the book of Lamentations. As a church, we don’t read from this book very often. I believe it shows up during Holy Week. The books is a collection of 5 Poems of grief, some say written by the prophet Jeremiah (though there is some debate about this). The writings occur after the Babylonians destroyed the first temple in Jerusalem in the year 587 B.C. Jews read from this book to commemorate the fall of the first temple and the fall of the second temple by the Romans in 70 A.D. The books does what the name suggests…it laments. It shows grief and sorrow for the loss of the temple, their culture and their city.
And in a way we can find the five stages of grief within this chapter.
Denial: “For great as the sea is your downfall;
who can heal you?”
Anger: “He has brought to the ground in dishonor
her king and her princes.”
Bargaining: “Pour out your heart like water
in the presence of the Lord;:
Depression: “They strew dust on their heads
and gird themselves with sackcloth;”
Acceptance: “Your prophets had for you
false and specious visions;”
It appears that Israel as a nation worked through their grief over the time in Babylonian captivity. It is likely, though, that some individuals within the nation reached acceptance while others may have been stuck on anger or depression. Just as those of us today work through our grief while others get lost in it. Experts say one good way to manage grief is to celebrate your own life. To not go into isolation. Which is one of the reasons the quarantine we have been undergoing has resulted in an increase in cases of depression.
And don’t we avoid isolation in one way by living our faith? We are supposed to see Christ in everyone we meet. I am so guilty of not doing that on a regular basis. But when we do, don’t we lose a little isolation? Don’t we lose ourselves in the care of others? And what about our persistence in following the Lord? Doesn’t that help in dealing with the pain of loss? And the certainty of knowing that no matter what happens in our lives, the loss of a loved one or the loss of a nation, we have something better waiting for us.
We are told in today’s Gospel about how Jesus healed the centurion’s servant and Peter’s Mother-In-Law. And these miracles, as well as all the others Jesus performed, served to fulfill the prophecy of Isiah:
He took away our infirmities and bore our diseases.
And these are not only physical infirmities, but also spiritual and emotional. God brought the Israelites back from abandonment in Babylon to rebuild the temple. He can also bring us back from the despairs that will inevitably come up in our lives. From the hymn, “Sing to the Lord a New Song”
Just call upon his name, you’re a new creation.
