Most of you likely have realized that I sometimes use this space to bare some of my ills. Some aspects of my personality that I am not always proud of. In a way, this column becomes a sort of digital confessional for what is happening at the time in my life and hope that it touches you the reader with maybe some similar issues you may also be experiencing.
And so it is with this piece. I did not have a stellar week last week. I went with some friends on an off road motorcycle ride called the Northeast Backcountry Discovery Route. The route winds its way from southern New York state north through New England to the New Hampshire-Quebec border. The ride began with a trip through hurricane isaias and a flat rear tire that had to be repaired in the rain. Punctured radiator, broken windshield and headlight and another flat caused interruptions of the trip. Even after the trip I had problems with the trailer, accidentally “washing” my gps unit, and losing the ramp from the trailer in the middle of a busy New Jersey suburb.
I once heard it said that if you pray for patience, God will give you circumstances that allow you to practice that very virtue. And did He give it to me in spades. My reaction? Well, let’s just say that I broke at least the Second Commandment….several times. My frustration boiled over into anger and this fueled anxiety in those around me. Not my proudest moments.
It is so easy to develop a sense of superiority in our lives. Even our faith lives. Personally, I read the daily scriptures, I pray for those intentions that come up on the Cursillo prayer list each day, I read reflections on the readings from Father Burke Masters and I read this column daily. I get to mass weekly and work part time at our parish assisting with Confirmation. Some would say this is a great list and sounds the ticket to salvation.
But what would Jesus say? I think He would say that what I just did in the last paragraph was do what He said the Pharisees were doing…I was lengthening my phylacteries (the small leather boxes containing the commandments that the Pharisees and today’s Orthodox Jews wear as a reminder to keep the law). Actions that are sometimes used to get noticed by others. To give the image of piety.
But what is real piety according to Jesus? It is action. It is taking the words of God we read and turning them into behaviors that benefit those around you. It is not carrying yourself to be noticed as a great Rabbi (teacher) or being a father to the extent of treating those around you as under you as if they are all your children. It is humbling yourself so that you are exalted. It is not screaming obscenities as things go wrong around you only to create anxiety for family and friends. It is behaving in a way that opens a window to the True Light that should shine within.
In today’s first reading from Ezekiel, the prophet talks of the glory of God entering the temple from the east. Why the east? Because the entrance to the temple from the east leads directly to the Holy of Holies…the place where God was said to reside in the temple. God says that this place was to be the place of His throne. The place where the soles of His feet were to lie. Prior to the conquest from the Babylonians, Jewish kings treated the temple as their personal chapel, as the palace was connected to the temple. God was asking Ezekiel to tell the people that the temple should not be profaned by the secular. Nor should we.
I entered church this past Sunday prepared to receive the Eucharist. After all, we have gone so long with not being able to physically attend the liturgy. To not receive Jesus’ body. Of course I would want to take advantage of this. But I realized that I was not worthy of this privilege. It was time to be humbled and say to God I was not the best version of His servant these last couple weeks. I can only hope that the next time I lose my cool I remember what I will be giving up…union with the Lord. And maybe do a bit better job of practicing what I preach.
