Every year when my mother held our annual garage sale, she would go through the painstaking task of determining which toys were still played with and which toys were to be sold. Sentimental items were set aside and there were always certain categories that were not up for discussion (my precious dolls being one of them.) However the overarching message was clear: In order to get some new school clothes for the coming year, I must be willing to get rid of others. In order to get some of the items on my Christmas wish list, I must be willing to part with things I no longer needed. In order to receive, I must be willing to give and what I was willing to give must outweigh what I might receive in return. It is a powerful economic lesson as well as a spiritual one. You must be courageous enough to risk the loss in order to realize the gain.
Being a person of faith requires that kind of courage. It compels us to stand strong when we feel like we are falling apart. It calls us to smile even when our heart is breaking, rejoice in the face of immense grief, give with both hands and believe that we will be taken care of and to trust in God’s wisdom, even when it doesn’t make a lot of sense. In short, in order to be the kind of person God truly wants us to be, we’ve got to be willing to Go Big or Go Home.
As much as I would like to tell you that I possess this level of courage on a daily basis, in reality…I’m more of a Cowardly Lion. (I am also a Leo so maybe it’s a common trait, who knows?) Oh sure some days are better than others and I am probably harder on myself than anyone else, but deep down I know I that I could be a much better Christian “if I only had the nerve.”
But is that what God is truly asking? Maybe, but I suspect it’s a little more nuanced that that. Courage is an important, but highly underrated commodity that we all possess. It is something that begins in our heart and has an impact on the actions we take. It is something that can be defeated by fear, by comparing ourselves to others, by a lack of self-esteem, pride and the negative thoughts in our brains. Just as my mother helped me see the logic in giving up the things I no longer used/needed, she didn’t want me to live with regret. She didn’t discount my second guesses and she knew that a knee-jerk reaction or thoughtless consideration in the moment could lead to deep misgivings later. She would rather me feel good about what I can do than feel terrible about what I did.
I assume God works in a similar way. Yes, he wants me to have the courage to be a cheerful giver, but he also wants me to have the wisdom to know what is appropriate and what isn’t. He doesn’t want me to empty my bank account and be happy about being penniless. He wants me to do something and to feel good about it and to recognize my ability to make a difference in this world. Some things in life are not easy to get through and some are quite painful, but we do have to trust that He’s got our back. Sure, it requires a lot of faith in Him, but it also requires a faith in oneself. After all, courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward in spite of it. Courage requires us to have a brain and a heart so that we can go big in order to go Home…where our Father is waiting for us.
And as we all know, there’s no place like Home.
Today’s readings for Mass: 2 COR 9: 6-10, PS 112: 1-2, 5-6, 7-8, 9; JN 12: 24-26
