“It always works out, but God only knows how.”
If my sons had to choose one quote to remember me by, I am almost positive that they would choose this one. It’s something I tend to say when I am staring down multiple deadlines (and like an idiot, take on yet another assignment), when I am overwhelmed by some big project, or in those moments when I don’t know what I am doing. It’s a statement in which I acknowledge that I might be in over my head, but forces me to put my nose to the grindstone and trust that if God has put me in this situation, somehow He’ll get me through it.
It’s also a statement that has been challenged lately. Without going into it, let’s just say I am in a situation that isn’t going away any time soon and it’s led to a lot of contentious discussions with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I’m embarrassed to tell you that during a recent pre-Mass prayer, I literally told God to knock it off.
Eschewing all formality, I laid into Him and told him that if He’s got a lesson for me to learn, then He needs to come to me directly and stop screwing around with someone I love. I told Him that He was lucky I was even talking to him at all and that if His only begotten Son were standing in front of me, I just might punch Him in the nose. I told Him that I wasn’t meaning to be disrespectful, and I’m sure He’s got more important things to do than worry about my issues, but I was beyond angry at the moment and if He couldn’t understand that, then we may just have to take a time out from one another. I sat back in my pew, crossed my arms defiantly and waited for Him to make His move.
In response, I was given a homily on patience. (I hate it when He does that.)
Today’s gospel is a powerful reminder that God is still in charge and we have to trust that He’s got it under control and is not playing a game with our lives. Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way though. We presume that He can and will drop the ball on occasion, make a bad call or let the shot clock run out without making a big move. We assume this because it’s the kind of thing WE do on a regular basis. But we forget that He is the offensive coordinator, the defensive line, referee and coach all at the same time. He’s ran every play and knows how the game can turn on a dime, but there is no surprise upset for Him when the buzzer sounds. He’s got it all worked out and every one is accounted for. There may be a lot of fouls and the occasional MVP, but no one player is favored above all others. There is no “I” on God’s team. If you are on the roster, then you are as important as the next person on the bench.
You may not see a lot of minutes, but when He sends you in, He wants to see what you can do. You may get knocked around. You may be overwhelmed. You may experience the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat. You may even have a meltdown that would make John McEnroe blush. But you have to believe that if He put you in there, He will get you through it. Somehow, it always works out.
But only God knows how.
Today’s readings for Mass: GN 49: 29-32; 50: 15-26 A; PS 105: 1-2, 3-4, 6-7; MT 10: 24-33.
