Photo by Isles Yacht Club
A few months ago, I was coaching a kid’s tennis clinic when one of the players in the line continually inched up on the person practicing his forehands. It’s not an uncommon occurrence and I usually have to remind the kids to give each other a wide berth when someone is hitting and having been on the receiving end of just such a blow (and in that class no less) I can assure you, it doesn’t tickle.
At any rate, this kid didn’t want to listen and I reminded him to back up at least three times. However, when a racquet narrowly missed his neck, I shouted, “I swear to God, if you don’t back up, you are going to get your head chopped off!”
Now, I don’t know if it was the words themselves or the fact that I yelled that caused the kid to get the message, but I didn’t have to remind him again. However, when the session was over, his mother came up and berated me over my words, specifically my “swearing to God.”
“We are Christian and we don’t believe in that sort of thing. I was horrified and offended that you would say something like that to my son,” she said, as if I dropped an f-bomb on court.
I told her that as a Christian myself, I respected her convictions, but I had repeatedly warned her son to stay back and he didn’t listen. “I appreciate what you are saying, but your child’s safety is my top priority and I would say or do whatever it took to make sure he didn’t get hurt.”
“But you were swearing to God….” She cut in.
I don’t want to minimize her feelings, but it was as if we were having two different arguments. She was focused on my vocabulary while I was trying to paint the big picture for her. She saw me get hit in the head. Did she want her son to endure that as well? I tried to get him to listen her way at least three times. I called in God and the boy did as he was told. You tell me what was most effective when it came to keeping the kid out of harm’s way.
The whole thing bothered me. What is the big deal about swearing to God in the first place? It’s not like we are swearing AT him. Besides, isn’t swearing like taking a vow or making a promise? When someone testifies in court, do they not “swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” so help them God? Why is it OK to invoke His name in that situation but not on a tennis court when a kid might get hurt?
When I got home, I typed the word into my computer and highlighted it in order to read its synonyms. That’s when things got confusing. In addition to being another word for “assert,” “affirm,” “declare,” “maintain,” and “claim” it can also be interchanged with “curse,” blaspheme,” “cuss” and “execrate.” (I have no idea what that last one is.) Seriously, how can one word have completely opposite definitions?
Today’s Gospel reading offers a nuanced explanation of the whole matter, but it does little to end the debate, Jesus says we should not make a promise over something that does not belong to us, one we have no control over or one that has a slim chance of coming to fruition. We are supposed to say what we mean, mean what we say and let our word be our vow. By this logic, perhaps my crime was taking the name of God in vain and implying that the child would have been decapitated when he most likely would not. Perhaps she would have felt better if I vowed that he would have been in a lot of pain, get a headache and suffer a myriad of more realistic injuries, but I suspect her real beef was my getting “God” involved at all. She saw Satan at work in my statement and was determined to keep him away from her child. I feel that, but I can assure everyone that the Evil One was not seducing me. I saw a situation. I impulsively handled it. The world kept turning.
The issue of “swearing” is a fine line to walk. Sometimes it is considered appropriate and other times, it requires reconciliation. Maybe it depends on the situation. Maybe it depends on intent. And maybe, in the immortal words of my favorite band, “sometimes words have two meanings.”
Today’s Mass Readings: 2 COR 5:14-21; PS 103: 1-2, 3-4, 9-10; MT 5:33-37
