There have been times in the last year or so, where I feel like I have been in the desert, searching for meaning and purpose, and seeking God’s will while not quite understanding the trials I was going through and why they were happening. There were times where I felt that God was not near – times when I asked where He was and why certain things were happening in my life, or why certain things were not happening. I’m not the first person to ever have these feelings. Every one of us at times throughout our lives wonder why it seems that God is not listening to our prayers, or is not with us in times of struggle. Even Jesus, the Son of God had these feelings while on the cross. In His darkest hour, Jesus calls out, feeling separated from His Father asking God why He had forsaken Him. Every single one of us has asked this question of God, or of life, at one time or another.
But it truly is during these times, when God feels the most distant, when we feel the most alone and desperate for God’s love that He comes running, like a mom or a dad does when their kid wrecks their bike and scrapes their knee. We go running, wanting to be there for our child because we hear the pain and desperation in their voice. We feel their hurt. God is the same way. It’s at the times where we hurt the most, where we tell God that we can no longer do it on our own or that we feel helpless and do not know what to do or how we are going to make it, when He hears us and comes running. During these times, when He feels the most distant, He’s actually right there, close by, waiting to catch our bike as we fall. He’s just waiting to hear those words, “Daddy, I need you! Help!”
We need God. We need His help. In times of stress, anxiety and despair, it can be difficult to know and understand that God is there with you. Just ask Elijah in the first reading today, when he is out in the desert concerned that he would die, asking that he would die because he could not bear his hardship. Just ask the Israelites in the readings from recent weeks where they have been circling the desert for years, all concerned with survival and not remembering the blessings they had received from God and how near He actually was. Even when God provide them with manna and quail for food, they still could not see He was near.
And it’s the same with us today – looking at issues we have with a job loss, an addiction, the loss of a loved one, the struggling of a community that has endured riots or the latest mass shooting, or a country dealing with genocide or the modern day martyrs of the middle-east. At these times, it’s hard to see that God is near. It’s hard to see that God, while not wanting these things to happen, uses these tragedies and afflictions for something good, to bring us closer to Him, and bring us together as one community, one team in Christ. It’s hard to see and understand this, but God take the worst and makes good things out of it. And He did that with His son. Jesus experienced the worst of humanity, but in the end what He gave us through His sacrifice saved us all. It’s how it had to be done.
Jesus provided the truth and the way to Heaven, and it is all right in front of us, and all around us. And that’s really what the second reading and the Gospel tell us today, that God is with us, and that we need to be like Him, and the one true way is through His Son Jesus. We come together as one in Christ’s name and His Word, but He provides the spiritual food, the soul food we need to live forever. We must live, eat and breathe Christ if we are to make it through this world and beyond to Heaven. We sang a song during communion at Mass this evening prior to me writing this reflection that reminds me of this nearness, a song called Breathe. Below is a verse from the song:
This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe; Your Holy presence… living in me. This is my daily bread, this is my daily bread; Your very Word, spoken to me. And I, I’m desperate for you. And I, I’m lost without you. I’m lost without you. This is the air I breathe. This is the air I breath.
Jesus is the air we breathe. He is our daily bread. He gets us through the bleakest periods in our lives, and without Him we are lost. Without Him, we’re circling in the deserts of our lives, wondering where God is and why He has forsaken us. But having faith in Him and trust in God’s plan, while we still must traverse the desert from time to time, He provides the nourishment and fuel and grace we need to get through it.
We must know that Jesus is there all around us, even in the darkest periods and aspects in our life, waiting for us to call out for Him. God’s there, waiting ever so closely, sometimes silently, waiting for us to call out “Daddy, I need help! I can’t do it!” And He’s there, all the way, providing the food we need for our journey, guiding us through the darkness and preventing us from getting lost. And if we have faith, He’s there, turning our despair because of our current situation into desperation for Him and a longing for Him to help us see His plan and understand His will. It’s in these times, where God is most near.
