I AM SORRY
Jesus says, “Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, ‘I am sorry,’ you should forgive him.”
“Forgive him.” One of the necessary steps in reconciliation and forgiveness process is an act of contrition, that is, the desire and resolution to be forgiven. It is the interior conversion that makes someone say, “I am sorry.” We all know it is never easy to approach another person and alter the words “I am sorry,” though sometimes it sounds too simple.
Jesus acknowledges this step when he tells us to accept one’s prayer for forgiveness. Jesus says we should be ready to forgive. “Be on your guard” to forgive even when the same person sins against us “seven times in one day.” Hence, forgiveness should be given over and over and over again. We cannot hesitate to offer it, especially to those who sincerely seek repentance.
Jesus added that the person who is hurt has an obligation to “rebuke” the person who sins against him. This act of rebuking is an invitation to “repentance” and not to be used as a means of revenge or put down. The “rebuke” could lead to a change of heart. We are to rebuke in love.
Some of the challenges we face in the journey of life are when someone wrongs us once, not to talk about “seven times a day,” and comes to ask forgiveness. We may become skeptical about the authenticity of his contrition. Jesus wants us to rise above the board. He does not want us to be weary and discouraged by these actions, no matter how many times, of the one seeking forgiveness.
No wonder why He said, “By the way you love one another, people will know that you are my disciples.” We are to walk the walk. He calls us to be the Light of the world and the Salt of the earth. Not an easy vocation. Not an easy road. But He did call us. Think about it. It is never easy to go back and alter those words, “Please forgive me, I am sorry.” It is equally not easy to offer forgiveness “I forgive you.” Grace is involved.
What if the person who wrongs you never comes around to ask for forgiveness? Must I forgive someone who never said “I am sorry” to me? But, what if they don’t think they have said or done anything wrong? Or what if they know but don’t care? Do people who don’t want forgiveness don’t deserve forgiveness?
The disciples realized how hard this was and asked to be strengthened so that they would be able to love and forgive. In his First Letter, Saint Peter says that we should “… be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing” (I Peter 3: 8-9). God requires us to forgive. We read in the Gospel of Matthew, “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15). Jesus gave me an example when dying on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do” (Luke 23:34). None of us deserve mercy, it is given, freely given.
If one’s life is full of bitterness and resentment, it sours his thoughts and spirit. Forgiveness gives us power in our spirit. In his First Letter to Timothy, Saint Paul says, “But you … flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness” (1 Tim 6:11).
Altering the words “I am sorry” or “I forgive you” is therapeutic and liberating. It has the power to heal the person who was hurt as well as the person who says, “I am sorry.” I would like to conclude my reflection with these words of Sarah Young, taken from her book “Jesus Calling,” “Do not expect to be treated fairly in this life. People will say and do hurtful things to you, things that you don’t deserve. When someone mistreats you, try to view it as an opportunity to grow in grace. See how quickly you can forgive the one who has wounded you. Don’t be concerned about setting the record straight. Instead of obsessing about other people’s opinions of you, keep your focus on Me (God). Ultimately, it is My (God’s) view of you that counts.”
