Did you ever wonder about how it was that Jesus passed by Matthew, Peter, Andrew, Nathanial, James, and John and said, “Follow me,” and they left everything and followed him immediately? Most of my life I took those stories as whole stories and wondered, “how could that be?” My own conversions have not been so simple or so fast.
Today is the Feast of St. Matthew, the Apostle. The Gospel is the story of when Jesus passed by Matthew (also known as Levi) as he was collecting taxes in Capernaum for the Romans. Jesus said, “Follow me,” and Levi did. Amazingly, he was able to put together a dinner party that night for Jesus and his apostles, as well as for Levi’s other sinner friends and a few Pharisees.
At this party Jesus reveals something that had not been so clearly revealed before: “I came for sinners. I came for the sick, not the healthy. I am building my Kingdom through them.”
Matthew
Matthew was an educated Jew, knowledgeable in the law—but not following it. He had sold out to the Romans and thus was condemned by both Jewish leaders and ordinary people. How could Jesus pass by such a person and say “Follow me” and that person leave everything to follow? How could true, radical conversion happen so fast?
If I try to put myself in Matthew’s place, I simply cannot imagine it. I could not make that abrupt of a decision to change my life.
I don’t think Matthew did either. Why?
Let’s look at the story of Matthew’s conversion in his Gospel. It is not in the beginning. It is in chapter 9! Most important, it is AFTER the Sermon on the Mount—which Matthew reports through three chapters in exquisite detail. Whether the Sermon on the Mount was one very long homily or a way of putting together what Jesus preached again and again in those early days of Galilee doesn’t matter. It is written in great detail by Matthew and is placed BEFORE the story of his conversion. He must have heard it and thought about it seriously.
It seems reasonable to believe from that evidence that Matthew took a while to be converted. If you read the story of Peter’s conversion in Luke 4 and 5, it seems it took a few days. He heard Jesus preach and invited him home for dinner. Jesus then healed Peter’s mother-in-law and worked the miracle of the catch of fish. THEN Jesus said “Follow me” and Peter followed. Andrew and Phillip seemed to have known Jesus from shared time with John the Baptist by the Jordan. But it might have taken Matthew a year or more to be ready to answer “Yes” when Jesus called.
When Matthew answered, Jesus perhaps let others (and us) know why it took so long for him: Matthew was a different kind of catch. Matthew was one outside normal Jewish faith and social acceptance. But Matthew was important to Jesus. Jesus came for the people on the outside, too. He came for sinners.
Had Jesus seen Matthew listening on the edge of crowds in Capernaum? Had Matthew had some private conversations with Jesus? Was this the first time they had been at a dinner party together? We don’t know. Maybe.
We do know that the tipping point of conversion came for Matthew when Jesus met him where he was—in the act of sinning against the Jewish people collecting taxes. When Jesus met Matthew where he was, he didn’t say, “Stay as you are.” Jesus said, “Follow me.” Follow me meant leave his post, leave his status, and become an “intentional disciple.”
Intentional Disciples
Sherry Weddell wrote a book popular in Catholic circles a few years ago, Forming Intentional Disciples. I heard Sherry talk about her book. She said that while she had been talking about conversion in her work with identifying charisms for years, nobody paid much attention to her until she stopped talking about being a disciple and started talking about becoming an “intentional disciple”—one who deliberately chooses to follow Jesus—one step at a time, beginning where they are (no matter where that is).
We Catholics see conversion as a repetitive process—a process of God moving us closer to him in multiple invitations to “Follow me.” For me there were big points of conversion at ages 12, 20, 49, and 62. There have been many, many small conversions, too, as homilies, reading, witness of friends and prayer helped me follow Jesus one step at a time–always beginning with where I am and then bidding me to follow.
I suspect that Matthew was a piece of work for Jesus. He was converted one step at a time—just like me. Maybe just like many of us.
Kingdom of God
In the past couple of years, I have grown to love Matthew’s Gospel. I love it because it is the Gospel of the Kingdom of God. I read the Sermon on the Mount again and again because it tells me practical ways to respond with a “yes” to Jesus saying: “Follow me.” I read the stories of healings and teachings as ways that Jesus was not only describing the Kingdom of God—but as ways that he was building the Kingdom of God—one step, one sinner at a time.
Bible translations differ as to whether they say “Kingdom of Heaven” or “Kingdom of God.” I prefer Kingdom of God because Kingdom of Heaven implies that the behaviors Jesus describes in the Gospel of Matthew are behaviors for Heaven—for life after death. That thought can lead to a sense that what Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount that Matthew wrote down is for saints and heaven—not for intentional disciples here and now.
But that is not what Matthew says. Matthew tells us that Jesus is saying to us here and now, “Build a world that runs like God wants it to run by doing these ordinary (though often difficult) things NOW. “ Time and time again in Matthew we hear, “The Kingdom of God is like….” He gives us metaphors and similes to give us a picture. But then Matthew quotes Jesus as saying, “You have heard it said…but I say…” Matthew also tells us what to change to follow Jesus more closely. He gives us a logic.
Modern research says that for us humans to change and do something new we must have a picture of it in our minds and must have a logic for it that we can put into a simple sentence. Matthew, who took a while to be converted, gives us both pictures and words. His pictures and words help me much.
I am glad it took Matthew a while to be ready to answer to “Follow me.” In his struggles he left us detailed descriptions of what Jesus said and did, as well as the example of how he did it. Matthew was a tax collector turned intentional disciple turned writer who eventually became apostle and saint—one step at a time.
Prayer
Lord, You know me. You know I am a one-step-at-a-time intentional disciple. These days it is easy for me to see myself as Matthew standing in the crowd, listening, thinking, trying to see how I can live this whole Gospel You preach—a Gospel of objective moral standards (the 10 Commandments) and active engagement with the world (Catholic social teaching) through grace in more complete ways. Keep pulling at me, Lord, keep preaching to me every way You can. And, soon, Lord, stop by my post and say, “The time is now for a deeper, new conversion. Follow me.”
