The time when children are adolescents is often an uncomfortable time for families. There are pressures of culture, of school, of friends and dating relationships, of making decisions about college and what happens after high school. What parents call temptations, youth often call adventures. Parents must face that their children can and will make decisions on their own. Youth hopefully must deal with parents whose love and care are irrevocable, that is, cannot be taken back or cut off—it lasts, no matter what. No turning back.
Wisdom for Parents
Two pieces of guidance I learned to give to families with adolescents were these: (1) Always “hassle” your adolescents’ way of thinking when you disagree. Encourage them to tell you what they are thinking and why. Then, counter that logic with your own (or add to their logic if you agree). This helps them learn how to think for themselves and to come to good, logical conclusions. (2) Give in on matters of style; hold on for dear life in matters of substance. Matters of substance are matters of safety, moral precepts, and decisions that can affect their lives forever.
In all these matters and struggles, parents continue to express unconditional love of their children—though they also maintain conditional acceptance of behaviors. Another way to say unconditional love is that that love is irrevocable; it can’t be called back. It is love—no matter what, no turning back.
St. Paul Today
In today’s first reading, St. Paul uses the word “irrevocable.” He says, “The gifts and call of God are irrevocable.”
The church in Rome was struggling—much like parents struggle with adolescents. As Paul writes, it is about 10 years since the Council of Jerusalem. The Council of Jerusalem settled the first great conflict the church had: did Gentile converts have to become Jews first to become Christians? The answer was “no.” That solution was clear about things like circumcision and sacrifices to idols. But what about lesser things? There were doubtless plenty of lesser things that nonetheless conflicted with Jewish, Greek, or Roman culture that could keep the Roman church as topsy-turvy as a home with four adolescent girls. When people gathered in the house churches for Sunday “breaking of the bread,” there was often a full meal. Jewish foods prepared Jewish ways? Greek foods prepared Greek ways? How did men and women behave? There were different standards in the different cultures. How much control did a man have over his adult children? Those standards differed, too.
There was lots to make people uncomfortable. What was style and what was substance? In today’s reading St. Paul gives a principle to help the Roman church sort out those smaller matters: “The gifts and call of God are irrevocable.” He goes on to say, “Just as you (Gentile Christians) once disobeyed God but now received mercy because of their (Jewish Christians) disobedience, so they have now disobeyed in order that, by virtue of the mercy shown to you, they too may now receive mercy. For God delivered all to disobedience, that he might have mercy on all.”
In other words, Paul is saying something like this: God may have started his path of saving the world with the Jewish people, giving them the Law, to make them as a people more in line with his standards than the Greek or Roman cultures. But, as the Father sent the son, and many of his own Jewish people did not believe in him, these Jews were disobedient…but that opened up the way for Greek and Roman Gentiles to be the obedient ones. EVERYBODY has been disobedient. EVERYBODY can be obedient now. The playing field is even. See each other as equals. God’s call and gifts are irrevocable. No matter what. No turning back.
Paul goes on then to exalt God: “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways!” He quotes Isaiah, “For who has known the mind of the Lord or who has been his counselor?” (Isaiah 40:13-14) and Job “Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid” (Job 41:11)
In other words, God was smart to create a situation of difference, because the struggle through that difference enables far more people to be saved!
What Jesus Says
The choice of the church to put Jesus’ advice for having guests for dinner with this selection from Romans is an interesting one. Today’s three verses from Luke 14 come between two parables about hospitality: the one about take the lowest place at a feast (Luke 14:7-11) and the one about the man who couldn’t get his friends to come to his banquet, so he sent his servant out to invite people off the street to come (Luke 14:15-24).
What is Jesus saying to us today, especially in light of today’s selection from Romans? Jesus’ exact words were:
“When you hold a lunch or a dinner,
do not invite your friends or your brothers or sisters
or your relatives or your wealthy neighbors,
in case they may invite you back and you have repayment.
Rather, when you hold a banquet,
invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind;
blessed indeed will you be because of their inability to repay you.
For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
Application for Today
For me, the application for today goes back to substance and style when there are differences. The church today is pretty topsy-turvy. In many areas, it is hard to discern what is substance and what is style. Whether the topic is how our parish does strategic planning or icons brought to the Amazon synod, there are strong opinions as “what has always been true for us” encounters “but this way seems better to me.”
It seems Jesus is saying, “Invite everyone in. Don’t think about being repaid. Open the doors. Let the Holy Spirit work out the solution through the conflicts.”
How is the Holy Spirit working in the conflicts? Paul’s words give me courage: “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways!” On a given day I may not be able to see the Holy Spirit’s guidance in the stirring-ups of church issues, just as I did not see God through nature working in the struggles I had with my then adolescent children. But one of my children now has an adolescent of his own, and the distance time gives enables me to see how the strength, flexibility, identity, and cohesion our family learned as we did our adolescent struggles more than twenty years ago bears fruit today.
If the Holy Spirit is working in my family, he surely is working a million times more in God’s family, the church. God is in charge. He knows what he is doing—though his ways some days are inscrutable to me. His call and gifts to me, to you, to each leader and person in the church are irrevocable. We are called and loved. No matter what. No turning back.
Yet, as Jesus reminds us before Chapter 14 of Luke is over–there is a cost of discipleship. It is important to discern together what is substance and hold on to it–while letting people follow their preferences in matters of style.
Prayer
Come, Holy Spirit! Let me pray with faith, “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How inscrutable are his judgments and how unsearchable his ways!” Let me trust in You, O Lord! Amen
