As a marriage and family therapist and therapist supervisor, I have taught people how to listen for almost thirty years. To truly listen, we must do more than let the sound waves hit our ears.
Good Listening
Good listening begins with being attentive. We put our own thoughts and concerns on hold: they are still there, but we are not listening to them at the moment. We focus attention on the speaker. We listen with our eyes, as well as our ears. We watch to see facial expressions, eyes, and body position. We attend to tone of voice, as well as the words spoken.
Then good listening goes into the speaker’s heart. It considers: what feelings are expressed—or hidden within the words? What is really important about what the speaker is saying? What meaning is given to these words? One way to do this is to imagine you are the speaker. To say to yourself, “If I were saying these things with this face in this tone of voice, what would be in my heart?”
That entry into another’s heart, if we let it, can give us an empathy or solidarity with the other. We can see things as the other person sees them. When we do that, the speaker often makes sense in a way he or she did not make sense before.
As the listener, we may still disagree—or not understand. But there is now ground for true dialogue.
That dialogue begins with naming at least the core of what the other person has said. “So, you…..” That naming is said in a simple, genuine, level-voiced way. Such naming gives the speaker the sense that true listening has occurred. She has been heard. His perspective has been acknowledged.
THEN, the listener can respond, becoming the speaker now. That response may be “I agree” or “That makes almost no sense to me.” But whatever the response is, it comes from having truly listened.
Daniel Listens to God
In today’s first reading, the Jewish people are in another time of persecution. While the setting of this apocalyptic book is Babylon during the exile, scripture scholars believe it was written later, during persecutions under Greek rule of Jerusalem. The prophet Daniel has visions which give him hope. He is trying to communicate his hope to his people, but they are not listening. Distressed, he goes to Scripture. He reads the prophet Jeremiah. As he does, he listens to God speak in the scripture. He has an “aha!” moment and realizes, “We, God’s people, are doing the same things we did before the Babylonian exile: we must repent!” Then the beautiful words of today’s reading comes to us:
“Lord, great and awesome God,
you who keep your merciful covenant toward those who love you
and observe your commandments!
We have sinned, been wicked and done evil;
we have rebelled and departed from your commandments and your laws.
We have not obeyed your servants the prophets,
who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes,
our fathers, and all the people of the land.
Justice, O Lord, is on your side;
we are shamefaced even to this day:…
Lectio Divina, A Way to Better Listen to God
Lectio Divina, “Holy Reading,” is a way to listen to God speak to us. You are reading this meditation, so, by definition, you are seeking to hear God speak to you. Often comments by readers say, “You spoke to me to today.”
But it is God who speaks in Scripture. It is God we want to listen to.
When we read Scripture, it is God who is speaking. When we read the Scriptures or listen to them at Mass, the Holy Spirit gives us what we need and are ready to hear. For this reason, “the Church has always venerated the Scriptures as she venerates the Lord’s Body.” (CCC 103—Look at how the Church sees the Scripture in CCC 101-141)
Lectio Divina was developed by Benedictine monks as a way to improve their ability to listen to God in Scripture. A book mark I recently received from the St. Meinrad Oblate office names the process very succinctly:
Lectio Steps
Lectio (Reading)
- Read the Scripture
- Gather the facts. (do a little study—perhaps the commentary at the bottom of the page in your Bible)
- Listen to God’s Word: “What word or phrase stands out to you?”
Allow 1-2 minutes of quiet
Meditatio (Meditate)
- Read the Scripture again
- Let Jesus speak to you.
- Reflect on the message. Think about it. What questions arise?
- “What message am I hearing that is not what I was already thinking?—that is new?
Allow 3-4 minutes quiet time.
Oratio (Prayer—Conversation)
- Read the Scripture again
- Let your heart respond to God.
- Trust God enough to speak your heart, your emotions. Let God seek what is inside you.
- “What do you want to say to God?”
Allow 4-5 minutes of quiet time.
Contemplatio (Contemplation)
- Read the Scripture one more time.
- Surrender to God’s presence.
- Rest in God—beyond thoughts, feelings, or particular acts. Just be with God.
Allow 5-10 minutes of quiet time.
God has been speaking to monks through this process since the 6th century. It still works. It takes time to learn. Sitting for that quiet time is HARD, especially if the Scripture is challenging. Presenting your thoughts to God and presenting your feelings to God is hard—most of us want to just do one or the other.
I don’t listen overly well. I find that I usually need to do lectio on a short Scripture passage 3 days to listen enough. Even then, God sometimes has to enlighten my understanding AFTER I’ve prayed—usually when I’m doing some mindless task later in the day.
But God speaks. God wants to speak to you. God has a message for each of us at least once a day from Scripture.
Try It on Today’s Gospel
Today’s Gospel is short: Try doing lectio with it. See what God is saying to you today:
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”
Prayer:
“Speak, Lord, and help me, your servant, to listen.”
