Holy scripture is a wonderful thing – spiritually uplifting, inspirational, historical in many ways.
But I often wish the divinely inspired authors of our Old and New testaments would have included a “Book of Murmurs and Mutters” to give us even more insight into the human qualities of “saintly” biblical characters.
After all, they were just like us. They put on one sandal at a time. They had real jobs and real concerns in their lives.
Sometimes I wonder what they were thinking or muttering to themselves as they made their way to and from an encounter with God. What did they murmur in the “gray areas” of Scripture.
Did Noah walk away from God thinking: “Where are we going to find all those nails on short notice?” Did Jonah walk out of the fish, thankful for his life but desperately seeking a bar of soap and a shower?
I also have to wonder what Moses was muttering to himself as he made his walk toward his face-to-face with God.
As you can tell in today’s first reading, Moses was pretty frustrated about the complaints he had been hearing over and over and OVER again. The people of Israel had been given their freedom at the hands of God, with Moses leading the way.
Yet they complained about their fears, their thirst, their hunger. (Times were tough … I suppose I would have complained, myself.)
But Moses had heard enough … and he laid it out for our Lord.
“Why do you treat your servant so badly?” Moses asked the LORD. “Why are you so displeased with me that you burden me with all this people?
Was it I who conceived all this people? Or was it I who gave them birth, that you tell me to carry them at my bosom, like a foster father carrying an infant, to the land you have promised under oath to their fathers?
Where can I get meat to give to all this people? For they are crying to me, ‘Give us meat for our food.’ I cannot carry all this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me.
If this is the way you will deal with me, then please do me the favor of killing me at once, so that I need no longer face this distress.”
Yup … that was Moses, the holy man of God, telling his Creator to just “kill me now.”
But let’s dial it back.
Imagine the thoughts going through Moses’ mind as he rehearsed his little speech to God:
“You know, I had it pretty good in Egypt. Nice clothes. Got to build cities. Beautiful women everywhere. What am I doing here?”
Or this:
“I knew I should have avoided that burning bush. I am so crazy. Why didn’t I just turn around, go about my business and be done with all this?”
These are the kinds of doubts we all carry in our hearts whenever we are called by God to do something that seems impossible – or at least incredibly burdensome.
We are often told we should pray for our priests and our pastors. Why? They’re closer to God than we are … they don’t need our prayers. Life is easy for them. They work, what, one day a week? (Just kidding Father).
The truth is this: Characters such as Moses, Elijah, Mary, the Apostles, the Saints … they were all pretty normal people up until the moment they encountered God. Same with our priests, deacons, religious women and others who follow vocations of the highest sort.
They meet God, for real, and their lives are never the same.
Moses had to be thinking this as he walked past the tents on his way to speak to God, listening to the cries and complaints of his people.
Kill. Me. Now.
Those are pretty powerful words, but it shows just how difficult it must have been for Moses to deal with humanity.
Think of how difficult it is for our pastors to deal with us. We have needs. We have complaints. We have their phone numbers on speed dial.
Pray for them. Always.
Let’s also pray for one another.
You know, life is pretty simple before we meet God.
No matter who or where you are … think back to the circumstances in your life before you converted or before you were baptized into your faith.
There were probably a lot of things you never worried about. The poor, perhaps. The homeless. Prisoners. The sick and dying.
But like scales falling from your eyes, your religious conversion opened you up to that seemingly impossible task of dealing with humanity. And it can be daunting.
So much suffering around the globe. So much pain. Hunger. It can be maddening to think what it would take to solve all those problems. And it would seem completely normal for you to simply toss up your hands and say, “Lord, forget it. These are your people, not mine. Leave me alone.”
Alas, it’s not so simple to run away when something – or Someone – tugs at your heart and opens your eyes.
I picture the daily struggle experienced by Mother Theresa in Calcutta as she cared for the worst of the worst.
Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your life will be much easier if you simply draw closer to God.
Quite the contrary. The more you fall in love with Jesus, the more you fall in love with His flock.
And let’s face it, that flock is not always pretty.
But let’s follow the example set by Moses and all the saints. Let us not ever give up on humanity – which has its challenges but is always full of potential.
