It is probably the most breath-taking and awe-inspiring moment of the Sacred Liturgy.
Standing at the altar, the priest has completed a litany of prayers over the Eucharist and then jumps into the Last Supper scene we are so familiar with.
Taking a host in his hands, he speaks the words of Christ – TAKE THIS, ALL OF YOU, AND EAT OF IT, FOR THIS IS MY BODY, WHICH WILL BE GIVEN UP FOR YOU.
And then he raises the host high for all to see.
For a moment, time seems to come to a stop.
The church is silent.
All eyes are focused on a tiny piece of bread which has become the Body of Christ.
I look around me and see my fellow parishioners stare at the altar. Some make the sign of the cross. Others bow the heads or bury their faces into their hands.
For many years I sat and stared.
At times, I doubted.
Who hasn’t?
Who doesn’t?
Today we commemorate St. Thomas the Apostle, the original doubter, whose disbelief in the resurrection of our Lord became legendary and coined the phrase “doubting Thomas” for generations.
The story is told again in today’s Gospel, where we read how Thomas placed his hand in the risen Christ’s side and a finger in the hole of his hand, where nails had been pounded.
At that point, Thomas became a true believer, uttering the famous words “My Lord and My God.”
Which brings us back to the altar.
For many years, I watched as priests elevated the host and the chalice in silence, wondering what they might be thinking.
And then one day a new priest arrived at our parish, bringing with him a slightly different set of mannerisms and actions on the altar, the way they often do.
I like that, by the way. I know the words are the same and the meanings are the same around the world. But certain things a priest does or says in the “gray edges” of the Liturgy often stick with me.
This new priest, rather than remain silent while raising the host, would quietly whisper the words “My Lord and My God” at precisely that moment, the host raised high for all to see.
After seeing that many times, I developed the habit myself. Today, no matter who is standing at the altar or where I am at Mass, when the host is raised, I utter those words of St. Thomas at precisely that moment.
It is our way of affirming our belief in the Resurrection. Our belief in the real presence of Jesus under the form of bread and wine. And our belief in the entirety of Christianity, whose foundation comes to fruition for every individual who bravely utters the words that Thomas could not say until he had visual proof.
As Jesus says in the Gospel today, blessed are we who believe without seeing.
That doesn’t mean we don’t have our bad days, when our faith seems to be less than strong.
Especially when it comes to the Eucharist, which is often referred to as the one thing that draws most people to the Catholic faith … AND … the one thing that is cited by those who leave the faith because they have lost their belief.
We should pray daily for an increase in faith in the Eucharist, not just for those who are not Catholic, but for those who are faithful to the Liturgy.
After all, each of us are potential victims of doubt and disbelief at any moment on any day.
And if you’re sitting there thinking – NOT ME. NOT ME. NEVER. – then let me direct you to the story of another apostle who seemed to be so sure of his faith.
