I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t know what to write about today. Usually I have a topic in mind regarding the readings and points I want to get across, and then as I am writing it just flows out. But today – nothing. No specific real-world analogy or topic or key points are fixed in my mind. Nothing is waiting to flow out.
And so, I’m just going to start writing, and we’ll see what comes out.
It’s not that nothing is on my mind. Actually, a lot is. This stay-at-home, lockdown, quarantine, shelter-in-place – you pick the term – it’s been tough. I think about the people who are truly suffering – physically from this disease. I think about the people who are suffering financially from lost income through job loss. I think about the state of our economy and the uncertainty of what the future may bring, this new normal.
I’m thankful though. Thankful I still have a job, and that we’re doing very well as a company. I’m thankful for this time being able to work on things around the house that have taken a back seat over time. I’m thankful for this time of purging, simplicity and separation because it has helped me realize I can live on less, and it’s given me time to think more, and appreciate the little things more.
I’m thankful for the time spent with family and this separation from Jesus and the Sacraments. Yes, I am thankful for this because it makes me yearn stronger for His presence and a return to Mass, and I think I’ll appreciate it a little more. And appreciate Him a little more.
I’m thankful for the opportunity – the opportunity to use this time to become a better person.
But yet I ache. I ache for a semblance of normalcy, to get back out and be with people. To eat inside a restaurant. To casually shop in a store without seeking how I can best avoid people. I ache for my son because he wants to be in school, but he can’t. He is bored, really bored, because he is separated from friends. And he just wants to play baseball with his team – but he can’t just yet.
I ache for this country. Yes, people are coming together in many ways, but in some respects, this has further polarized us as a society. True colors have come out, meanness, anger, and selfishness has often reared its ugly face. It’s almost as if there is no compromise. There is no middle ground.
I’m thankful for the sun, the warmer temperatures, and the ease in restrictions that are on the way come this summer. But yet I ache for this new reality that has set in upon us like a fog, unable to see what is ahead of us, living day-by-day, moment-by-moment – concentrating on the present because that is all we can see. That is all we can depend on.
Perhaps I’m thankful for this as well, this pruning that is taking place. Perhaps Jesus is seeing the fruit that we have the potential to bear, and He is pruning us for greater growth, a more prosperous future.
Patience is the key. Perseverance is our course. Faith is our means.
Like with this reflection, I didn’t know what to write about, and so I just started writing.
In the same way, when you don’t know what to do, or where to start, or you feel paralyzed by the circumstances around you – when you don’t know how to be with Him – just be. Just start doing. Just be in Him, and He will be in you. He will work with you to be better.
And along the way, we find our dwelling in Christ, abiding in Him, rather than in those things that distract us. Perhaps when we come out of this, we’ll see much more clearly and the fruit we bear is more plentiful. This is my hope and my prayer.
