Disappointment can be a devastating emotion. A mixture of sadness, anger, hurt, and fear, disappointment comes because something expected and wanted has not happened. In today’s Gospel Jesus is disappointed. It is very interesting to notice how he handles it.
Let’s look at the context. Jesus began his ministry with a sense of anointment. He was sent to “bring good tidings to the poor.” He had done that—traveling around Galilee healing the sick, giving sight to the blind, and casting out demons. He had taught people on the hillsides, and they had wanted to hear. Most recently, he had sent his disciples out to extend the proclamation of God’s Kingdom—a kingdom in which God’s love became a way of life for people.
People had listened and followed—to see what Jesus would do next—but they weren’t getting his message: God was calling out to His people with miraculous signs to show His love. God was calling out to His people to form a new Kingdom. This new Kingdom was a whole new way of living and being. All they had to do to enter was to repent and trust.
All through the Old Testament, when God had wanted to guide His people, He had sent prophets who preached “Repent! If you repent, I, your God, will watch out for you. If you do not repent, evil will befall you.” So often people had not changed—and evil had happened.
With Jesus, the Father used a different tactic. Still fully true God, He also became true man. Instead of preaching repentance by arousing fear, He taught by doing loving things to SHOW HOW MUCH God loves His people. He still was preaching repentance. He still wanted His people to follow His ways. And, today, as both human and divine, Jesus was disappointed when people were not repenting.
“Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have long ago repented in sackcloth and ashes. ”
But Jesus did not stop with expressing his feelings. The full story comes out tomorrow and Thursday. Jesus is a psalmist today. He is following a pattern of dealing with trouble which is all through the Psalms. He begins by facing his strong painful feelings and the uncomfortable truth of his thoughts: this is not going the way he had hoped it would. People are not turning with gratitude and loyalty to the Father. They are not repenting.
But then Jesus goes on to psalmist steps two and three: He expresses His absolute faith in the Father (tomorrow’s reading, Matthew 11:25-27), and He chooses to continue to be loving (Thursday’s reading, Matthew 11: 28-3). In fact, in Thursday’s Gospel we will hear the words often associated with His Sacred Heart, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-burdened, and I will give you rest.”
One message I take from today’s Gospel is to follow Jesus’ lead in handling disappointment. I need to face and express my painful feelings and thoughts. God gave me emotions to help me process what happens in life. When I experience painful feelings it is important to express them (appropriately)—to put them into words spoken to God or to another person who can listen and help me learn from them what I need to do.
Once I admit the painful feelings, I open the gates to identify some truth within my pain that can lead me to problem solve and recover more positive feelings.
Then, just as Jesus did, I can commit to trusting in the Father’s inherent goodness. Once I’ve cleared out my soul of emotional gook, I can let myself praise God. I can remember God’s goodness and let myself be filled with belief in it. Such remembering and trust will enable me to do what Jesus does in Thursday’s reading: be strengthened in my willingness to keep on loving and serving.
For me, today, a second lesson builds on the first: this process of experiencing the pain of caring as God cares, turning with trust to God when I experience my own limits, and then choosing to go on loving and serving from a vulnerable, humble awareness of my limits IS THE VERY PROCESS that builds the Kingdom of God in me.
Last night some friends showed me a talk about vulnerability on Youtube by Brene Brown, an American researcher. Brene started out studying human connection. Studying connection led her to study vulnerability and shame. You might watch this talk at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o Brene is speaking science in a very entertaining way, but I think she is speaking of the process Jesus shows us today. I think she helps me see disappointment and its expression in a new light. The light of necessary humility for the Kingdom to be born in me?
St. Thomas Aquinas teaches us, “Grace builds on nature.” It is our human nature to feel anger, sadness, hurt, fear, and other painful emotions when life confronts us with disappointment. It is our human nature to not want to be so vulnerable. But, when life puts us in such a vulnerable place, God’s grace gives us a solution: do what Jesus did. Express the feelings, turn with trust to the Father, and choose to keep on loving and serving. This is a solution which makes us vulnerable.
It is a solution which forms me in the image of the cross–which is the blueprint of the Kingdom. That is something to continue to ponder, especially the next time disappointment comes.
