As a 9 year old child, every Sunday meant church and violin class . I wasn’t the biggest fan of it but as a good child (and after maternal coercion) I would reluctantly climb onto my dads 2 wheeler and hug my violin case hoping this day would end sooner, while we rode to the class.
One such Sunday after a rainy weekend , a little late for class, my dad decided to cut traffic by going through a puddle of water . BAD DECISION! That puddle was actually a deep pit filled with rain water, smartly camouflaged and as expected we had a pretty decent fall. While my dad and my brother managed to jump off the other way in time .. poor little me fell straight into the pool of muddy water deep into the pit.
Next thing I remember coming up for air, gasping , holding onto my violin case.. struggling to see my dad while he was trying his best to get me out. It took (what felt like an eternity) to get me out from there and home.. we hitched a ride home from this wonderful couple to a shocked mother at home. (Best part — no class!! )
That incident has always stuck with me and to this day I am terrified of water or even a shower for more than 5 seconds. I attempted swimming classes almost 3 times since and it was horrible. I just couldn’t get myself to let go of the trainers hand. It was a nightmare!(and still is). But I still am going to try again .. and keep trying till I get over my fear! I want to swim…..
Our relationship with Jesus is similar to my story, we do believe in him but we hesitate to trust him especially with those areas in our lives which we do not want God to poke his nose into.. sexual sin, procrastination at work, family relationships, romantic relationships, marital discords or the total hopelessness we experience when during lockdown! It is HARD. I know. I can see it everyday with every expectant mother who is terrified about her unborn child, her safety, their families who are terrified! The doctors, nurses and hospital staff who wake up and go to work praying that the PPE (personal protective equipment ) will be available for their shift and hope they do not contaminate themselves or their families.
“I am the bread of life;
whoever comes to me will never hunger,
and whoever believes in me will never thirst.
But I told you that although you have seen me,
you do not believe.”
Let us believe in him not through just online mass, rosaries and prayers but by emptying our hearts and fears into his arms. Let us start one day at a time. Get over the fear!
Prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I praise you for your Holy name. I worship your Holiness and I glorify you. Help me Lord to open my heart to you and set forth every secret pain, angst and distrust I have every day and put my faith in your will. Help me Lord to grow with you daily in this lockdown.
Amen
