It’s a bit of a coincidence in the readings today that Abraham had his wife and servant prepare a meal for God’s angels who visited him at his home, and then Martha and Mary prepared a meal in their home for God’s son. The moral of both of these stories are different though. After the angels had eaten, they blessed Abraham by telling him that his wife would bear a son. But, when Martha and Mary had Jesus in their home for a meal, Jesus became a little aggravated by Martha’s irritability at having to do all the work preparing the meal by herself. But, who could blame her? This is a common complaint at family gatherings that sometimes one of the ladies in the family doesn’t want to help with the work in the kitchen, so they sit with the men and talk to them instead. It’s a little ploy to get out of doing the work. The fact that Jesus chided Martha for complaining about it is a little unsettling. Why did he say that? Wasn’t he hungry? If not, then why did he let Martha go to all that effort to prepare the meal?
The paradox is that Abraham was rewarded by God’s angels for preparing a meal for them, yet Jesus chided Martha for doing the same thing. What is the difference? Jesus usually seems to think a lot like his Father, yet this time he behaved much differently. Why? Many priests seem to pick up on Martha’s busyness in their homilies and of course there is a grain of truth in that. But, is it possible that Jesus was not perturbed about Martha’s busyness so much as he was about her stress and irritability? Her negative attitude probably didn’t sit well with anyone at the time. When we are irritable and snap at people too, it can ruin a perfectly good day, irregardless of the good we are trying to do. All people will remember is the hurtful words or irritable attitudes we had at the time.
Jesus also makes note of the fact that Martha was distracted by many things. When people get under a lot of stress it is hard to think straight sometimes. However, we cause a lot of the stress ourselves by not slowing down for a bit and calming our minds. It sounds like Mary’s mind was quite calm sitting in front of Jesus, listening to him though. Martha could have sit down for a few minutes to relax and visit with Jesus too, and then returned to her work with a more peaceful attitude and clearer mind as well. Sometimes ladies are also too much of a perfectionist. We try to make everything just perfect for a special occasion and we end up resenting all the effort, when really it would go much better if we realized there is no such thing as perfection. Perfectionists, whether they are men or women, cause a great deal of stress in other people. Those around them often feel like they will never be able to live up to their standards and they might even quit trying to altogether. This is just something to think about. A few wrinkles in the tablecloth or dinner being a few minutes late is just not worth the stress of trying to make everything go perfectly. This might be what Jesus was actually trying to get across to Martha.
However, Mary does have a lot of merit for valuing their guest’s presence in their home by simply visiting with Jesus first. The food was less important than the visitor himself. After a few minutes of visiting and when everyone is in a good mood, people will often volunteer to help with the meal. One other thing to think about when we consider how we honor guests in our own home is whether we are distracted by the television. When a guest comes to our home are we busy looking at the screen on the television? Or giving our guests our full attention? When anything distracts us from paying attention to others it makes them feel like they are not very important to us, whether that is the television, computer, newspaper or other engrossing activities. In the long run, what is more important? Our guest? Or what’s in the news today?
Another thing that people often do is to look at other things, like their watch when talking to someone. You can tell their mind is not on you. They are thinking about the many things they still need to do and you are taking up their time by talking to them. This is another way that we make people feel they are not important to us, when we do not stop and really listen to them. We are often thinking about what we want to say too, rather than being like Mary and simply listening to others.
Mother Teresa used to say that she saw Christ in the faces of the poor. Maybe this week, we could see Christ in the faces of those around us, like at home, school or in the workplace. Mother Teresa also used to tell people that they did not need to go overseas to be a missionary, that charity and service to others begin in the home, within our own families. Mother Teresa also said that people are way too busy in our modern lived and are yet so hungry for love. Wonderful words of advice from one of the greatest saints of our time. If you remember, as busy as Mother Teresa was, she always gave the person in front of her, her full attention and they always felt respected and loved in her presence too.
