My mother who never drove a car in her life always said to me that there is only one time in our lives when cursing is acceptable. That time is when we are driving a car.
It seems that many people are rushing everywhere and going nowhere. Some of us use curse words as nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives. When we do resort to dialog, there is no patience or endurance or kindness or compassion.
How we treat someone is a sign of our character!
More importantly it leaves us open to the judgement of not only our community but to God. Do not make complaints against one another, brothers, so as not to be brought to judgement yourselves; the Judge is already to be seen waiting at the gates.
Now if the truth were to be told, I would have to confess that I am guilty of judging others and yes using the Lord’s name in vain and being impatient with others. It is not that I don’t try to be patient or try not to curse, but I still end up doing it. I react and don’t think about what I am doing. Here comes the patience part of the equation.
My pastor, Father Stuart, had one of the best Sunday homilies this month. He recounted the stories from the Confessional when the penitent says that they confess the same sins all the time. Father Stuart appreciates the fact that someone can be frustrated with themselves over sins that while they repent, they end up doing again.
Father Stuart came back with the most life changing statement. It not the fact that we keep doing the same things. The most important thing is that God wants and is willing to forgive us and take us back every time we sin. It is amazing that God wants to forgive us more than we want to sin. When the woman who was caught in adultery and brought before Jesus to cast the first stone. Jesus said that He didn’t condemn her and told her to go and sin no more.
In Mark’s Gospel Jesus changes the conversation to the Sacrament of Marriage. They are no longer two, therefore, but one body. Marriage is a union. It is not a game that we discard when we are no longer interested. A close relative was married to an abusive man for 17 years. My relative divorced him and right now even his children don’t even talk to him.
There is no place for abuse or adultery in a marriage. Jesus recognizes the fact that a person does not abuse himself or herself and are not unfaithful to themselves. No one cuts off their own limb. The two become as one, but if they do try to cut off their arm or leg they are in trouble. My relative who tried to make her marriage work but when her husband threatened to kill her son she left and never remarried. The result was that the two children married abusive spouses. The whole family is dysfunctional. Divorce should have come earlier rather than later for this family. This was not a sacramental marriage when it ended. Abuse, adultery and violence were and are never part of the Marriage vow and not what Jesus intended.
Many good Catholics leave the Catholic Church because of divorce. Part of the problem is that there is much disinformation about when it is right to pursue a divorce. I am not pointing fingers. Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife. Physical and mental abuse is not part of the marriage vow.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
Patience in Marriage and with others is something I hope to develop and grow in my life. Like all of us I am very much a work in process.
Jesus will not judge me till I die. Hopefully, He will judge me to be a good faithful husband and if I am repentant will continue to forgive me every time I sin. Wow! Only a loving God could be so kind and merciful!
God Love You Always
Bob Burford
PS: Please Pray for Cancer victims and their caregivers. Pray for the conversion of Russia and the salvation of the Ukrainian and Russian people and their soldiers. Pray for the Holy Land. Pray for peace
