Today, the Solemnity of the Ascension of the Lord, we celebrate the gift of the Holy Spirit as our Lord Jesus Christ ascends to the right hand of the Father. Jesus, after spending 40 days walking the earth speaking of the kingdom of God to his apostles and disciples, left us with a most loving spirit of truth – the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit speaks for Christ, he glorifies Christ and he gives to us that which Christ wants us to have. However, prior to receiving these most beautiful gifts of the spirit we are first created as a human being – through a mother and a father.
Over the weekend I was in Boston for the last workshop in a series of workshops designed to facilitate greater healing in the family (and the world) through acceptance, forgiveness and understanding. It was a beautiful weekend and I certainly experienced transformation on my faith journey. However, a few days prior to the workshop I was carrying heavy guilt in my heart. Knowing I would be out-of-town on Mother’s Day, if I indeed attended the workshop, was a little hard to handle. I was extremely torn, should I go or should I stay. To top it off, our Archbishop was attending Mass at the women’s prison where I am the DRE (Director of Religious Education) and if I attended the workshop I would miss out on this special event as well. The cost of attending the workshop felt very heavy and I almost cancelled my flight and hotel room.
Then I spoke with my oldest daughter, Alicia, who is now a wife and mother herself. I shared with her my inner turmoil and she listened with a loving heart. After hearing my inner conflict she spoke some very wise words to me: “Mom, you are doing the healing work for our family at that workshop. This is the best Mother’s Day gift our family could ever receive.” It was those words that not only gave me permission to attend, my participation in the workshop was now filled with a deeper sense of purpose.
Little did either one of us know how right she was. You see, during the workshop I would, like the other participants, have the opportunity to bring forth greater understanding, compassion, forgiveness and acceptance in an important relationship in my life. This would lead to a deeper and more loving connection with my loved one. As a participant I was invited to “work” on any relationship I felt needed healing. I chose the relationship with my two daughters as I desired a richer relationship with these beautiful young women.
When it was my opportunity to work I shared with the group a little background on my mother-daughter relationships and the dreams I held in my heart for all of us. During the initial portion of the work it became apparent that I had buried deep resentment, anger and sorrow towards my oldest daughter’s father. I was a statistic my friends… at the tender age of eighteen I became a young, single mother. My daughter Alicia and I were alone in the world without family support; however, much of this is a story for another day. I will just share with you now that somehow Jesus guided me, even though I barely knew him. Through his grace and mercy Jesus carried Alicia and I through the storm and led us toward himself. It was Jesus who helped me choose life and I know it was his Holy Spirit who spoke to my heart then as he does now.
Finding peace with Alicia’s biological father presented itself to be the real challenge for me. Try as I had over the years, I just couldn’t find peace with this man. Instead of finding real resolution, I chose to bury and deny the pain. Fortunately during the process of the workshop I was able to take a real, honest look at him through the lens of acceptance, forgiveness and understanding. Whether I liked it or not, he is a part of my life and a part of my family. He is certainly a part of my daughter’s life even though we haven’t seen him for decades. My only real peace would be found in forgiving him, accepting his place in my life and understanding that he too suffered (probably more than I ever imagined).
Something did change inside of me over the weekend. While I don’t know what the final resolution will look like, I will continue to trust that the Holy Spirit will facilitate the continued healing God intends for my family. And most importantly, I will continue to pray for my family, all of us including this man, trusting in the Holy Spirit’s aid.
And why such trust in the Holy Spirit? One reason – because our lord Jesus Christ gave us this holy advocate. The last words Jesus spoke to his beloved apostles before he ascended into heaven can be found in today’s reading from Acts: “…you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem…and to the ends of the earth.” To the ends of the earth – that includes all of us my friends – even those who we hold a grievance against. For me this includes the father of my oldest child.
In our reading from Ephesians today we see that grace was given not only to the disciples, but also given to many others who work for the lord, for the building of the body of Christ and for the unity of the faith. As Catholic Christians we are all called to be his disciples and participate in the plan Jesus has for the world with the help of the Holy Spirit. This includes working with those we have injured and those who have injured us as we are all the body of Christ.
This brings me back to my opening thought. We enter this earth through a mother and a father and sometimes these relationships cause us pain. Fortunately, as a human being we can experience real healing through the Holy Spirit. Through the pain experienced in our relationships we can learn to trust in the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will support, guide and offer us respite if we but only call upon him. He is forever with us, this great gift Jesus himself along with God the Father gave all of humanity, and he is waiting for our call.
Jesus – I love you!
