The lockdown has had me stuck at my new job at a southern state in my country , far away from my home. I wasn’t too bogged down about it but was more-so excited to read about this novel COVID 19 virus. I was selected as part of a team to be trained on the virus, its fatality, symptoms, investigations, sample collection, treatment, using PPE (personal protective equipment) and every possible idea about it. It did pique my interest but somehow I wasn’t really bothered until the day our prime minister announced a complete lock down of services and everyone at the hospital were split into smaller teams for less exposure. So my workaholic self had taken a dive into work mode and helped many women labor through the lockdown as I worked non-stop for 10 days. Once my shift ended, I was stuck in my room at the residential quarters for doctors wondering what to do with all the free time. I was suddenly forced into it. So like every self respecting resident doctor I slept, binge watched netflix and made small talk with all of my floor mates about the various shows and recipes.
That was when it struck me that I had so much free time. I stuck to my planned lenten sacrifices and added online daily mass and daily scripture reading to it. I subscribed to a bible app and started a plan which made me review my daily decisions. I made sure I would stick to eating vegetarian. BUT…. I soon realized as I read through scripture and the motions of being in lenten season during quarantine days.. there was something missing. For some reason I was not feeling too well.. I assumed it as homesickness .. I assumed maybe because I had too much time to overthink but to be honest I could not figure out what I was missing…. until Holy Saturday.
I realized in all honesty I was missing home cooked meals. Food being a very integral part of all religious festivities back home, it suddenly dawned on me that this will be my first easter in 30 years that I will not be with my family and break my abstinence with a home cooked meal. The thought of not being with my parents and eating at the same table made me sob uncontrollably and I looked up my prayer journal and scribbled a prayer to Jesus to help me appreciate all the blessings that I have.. when suddenly I got a message from another fellow doctor living in the same town who I met a week ago for a lunch at home!
Seems like divine intervention but no, it just made me upset even more! I realized how superficial my wishes for this Easter were. I could recollect only one line “Do not work for the food that perishes but for the food that endures eternal life, which the son of man will give you.” I needed to start thanking him for all the blessings I have including the job I am entrusted with for the safety of childbirth in these trying times of health. This Easter made me realize how much I took for granted receiving the food for my soul as the Eucharist at every mass Sunday or other wise, how I missed to venerate the cross through the holy week, the thrill of absolution from my sins after the sacrament of reconciliation and above all the essence of the risen lord to love every one! This Easter my relationship with Jesus shook at its very core and made me rethink every act of faith I did.. It made me worry what is it that I am doing wrong until I realized he is the very food for nourishing my soul through his words of scripture…I need no home meal or non vegetarian dish. All I need is my Lord!
We are Easter people and alleluia is our song!
