Sometimes we fall into the trap of evaluating ourselves by using the standards of the world. We notice that we are not as wealthy as others, or as successful, or as popular. Maybe, when we look at our lives, we seem insignificantly ordinary. Even when we go to Church and hear about the great saints of past ages, we realize how fall short of the standards they set.
If we ever find ourselves falling into this way of thinking about ourselves, today’s readings are just what we need. Today we celebrate the feast day of St. James, the son of Zebedee, who became the first of the apostles to be martyred. The Church selected a reading from second Corinthians (4:7-15) to honor this great apostles.
“We hold this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed, always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.”
If we feel sometimes like we’re just inexpensive, chipped, and faded earthenware mugs, then we rejoice—because these fit well into God’s collection.These are the kind of dishes that he has decided to use. When we wish that we were silver, gold, or expensive china we remind ourselves that such items never find their way into God’s kitchen cabinets.
We are surprised when we are afflicted with problems, confused about our lives, persecuted for following Jesus, and even struck down in one way or another. Why would God let these things happen to one of his children? Why did God allow the apostles to be treated this way—as though they were cheap coffee mugs that can’t even find their way into a garage sale? This is hard for us to understand. Yet this is the way the apostles were treated.
When we go to the Lord in prayer and lay our complaints before him, he reminds us that in spite of our circumstances we are still free to proclaim his word, always have the light of hope in our hearts, will never be abandoned, even for a second, by our Father, and all the powers on earth cannot destroy us. And the more we find ourselves dying with Jesus, the more powerful his risen life shines through us.
We look, then, not at the earthen vessel but at its contents. It is not us and our own glory that we bring to the world; it is the life of Jesus Christ that we manifest. And let’s remember that Jesus, while one earth, was an earthen vessel. He was born in a stable, raised by poor, ordinary parents, befriended the rejects of this world, and died naked and bloody on the cross. By the standards of this world he was worth nothing. What is it inside us that wants to appear to be more valuable than the Master?
In the gospel reading we are told, not of the great accomplishments of James, but of his sin. Though he appeared as a saintly person on the outside, inside his heart James was ambitious for recognition and glory. He and his brother John, rather than approach Jesus directly, pushed their mother forward to intercede for them. She told Jesus (Matthew 20:20-28):
“Command that these two sons of mine sit, one at your right and the other at your left in your Kingdom.”
How embarrassing! James wanted not just to be part of the administration of the Son of God, but to have the most honored position. He wanted to be above the rest of the disciples—a “big shot.” And, he proved that he was not worthy of such a position by the fact that he needed to get his mother to do his dirty work.
Jesus did not get upset with James. He, instead, promised that he would have the honor of drinking from the same chalice as Jesus did. He would be first among all the Apostles to drink from the chalice of martyrdom.
Even, then, when our own sinfulness and weakness strike us in the face, we remember that we fit in well with the apostles, and that Jesus doesn’t get upset with us. He reminds us that we are earthen vessels and that is precisely why he wants us as disciples. We are not surprised that we find sin in ourselves and that some of the worldly ambitions that existed in James, still exists inside us. And, if we find ourselves striving to rise to the level of silver or gold vessels, we are wasting our time. He needs earthen vessels so that people don’t get sidetracked by the vessel, but can drink freely of its contents.
“I chose you from the world, to go and bear fruit that will last” (John 15:16).
