Louise Guerney, a well-known child psychologist and long-time mentor, frequently says, “No child wants to be the latest word in family strength.” While she is very child-centered in her work to help parents manage the behavior of their children, she insists that parents need to have stronger wills than their children—and exercise those wills.
Louise’s logic makes total sense, even to parents who are currently overwhelmed by a child’s behavior. The logic is that children recognize they are small and don’t know how to manage their place in the world. They recognize their vulnerability and cry out (often with defiance) for someone bigger, stronger, and wiser than they are to lead them.
Once parents come to understand the need for them to be in charge—with nurturing and formation, as well as standards and limits—most children diminish their resistance and begin to actually enjoy seeking to please their parents. They choose to OBEY.
It is good for us to remember this human dynamic. In general, obedience is not a favorite concept in our culture today. Obedience implies that someone with authority over us can and will tell us what to do—and that we will do it. Favorite or not, obedience is a part of our Catholic faith. Today’s Scriptures guide us to look at what obedience means. They also prompt us to measure our practice of obedience.
Matthew 21:28-32
The Gospel today nails me in my disobedience. It is a simple parable. A man had two sons. He told them both to go out to his fields to work. One said, “Yes, I’ll go,” but he didn’t go. The other said, “No,” but then, he later went.
Let’s first put the Gospel in context. It is Monday of Holy Week. Jesus goes straight to the temple this morning to begin his last days of teaching. The Pharisees are there waiting for him. They question him about his authority to teach. He engages in some banter with them about John the Baptist. Then he tells them this parable.
The implication in context is that the Pharisees talk the talk, but they don’t walk the walk. They say they are following God, but they don’t do it. Jesus calls them on it.
Now I don’t exactly do that. My way of avoiding obedience sometimes is to put what I should do on a To Do List along with many other things. Then, I don’t get around to doing what I should because, well, I’m so busy doing other good things. I don’t say no to God. I wouldn’t. But, like a 13 year old who doesn’t want to clean his room, I say, “I’ll do it after while.”
True, I usually get around to doing what I believe God wants me to do, but today I have to admit just because God says it doesn’t always mean I give it priority. I look at my To Do List for this week. It includes: visit a former communicant who is now in an assisted living home; read the manuscript a former student sent me; put various business papers in order; complete an errand my son asked me to do. ALL of those procrastinated tasks are matters God has put on my conscience. I’ve done a bunch of work this week. But it’s Saturday morning and none of these tasks have been done. All but one of them have been on my To Do List for several previous weeks.
I don’t think of procrastination as disobedience. But, when I read this Gospel, I, like the Pharisees, am the first son who says yes to God when He puts something on my conscience, but my obedience does not always take priority over what my mind and will see as important. Truth is, I’ve had time to do each of those tasks, but I haven’t. My mouth said yes to put them on a list; but my action said no. They are not done. I have not obeyed.
Ezekiel 18:25-28
Ezekiel is preaching from Babylon in the early years of exile. His prophecy is helping the people make sense of their predicament and understand the relationship between personal sin and cultural sin. Cultural sin—the disobedience of the kings and practices of the whole tribe—led to defeat by the Babylonians and the resulting exile. However, there was also the matter of personal sin. Ezekiel’s prophecy here is addressing the personal sin issue. He is saying in all of Chapter 18 that there is opportunity and call from God for people to individually turn away from the false gods, inappropriate worship, dishonest business practices, personal sexual and family relationship sins, and attitudes that are not in alignment with YHWH’s standards. Those who turn away from those practices will be saved. Turning away is a requirement of salvation. Salvation in this sense means being in a right relationship with God and being able to practice their Jewish faith.
Here, the call today is a call to look at how I compromise with the culture around me. Again, I don’t just enter into relativism or the culture of me-me-me. But I agonize a lot (often to the point of missing opportunities) about when do I speak God’s standards and how do I speak them. There is the matter of readiness in people to hear a truth they have not obeyed yet. There are matters of phrasing and timing. There are realities of polarities that cause me (and apparently lots of other people) to automatically dismiss what someone from a different perspective says—just because I know they are very liberal or very conservative, associated with this leader or that one. In these cases it is not procrastination that holds me back, but fear of labeling that will get me dismissed. I think a better name for the hesitation is PRIDE.
This leads to a lot of spiritual dog paddling in place—but swimming nowhere. Here, I don’t procrastinate. I also don’t obey.
Philippians 2:1-11
Ah, the beauty and guidance of this admonition and glorious hymn of praise from St. Paul! The beauty and glory that we all receive because of Jesus’ obedience. He changed so much after the Transfiguration. What did Moses and Elijah say to him? We know from the agony at Gethsemane that while Jesus went willingly to crucifixion, he also went with awareness of its horror. What was it like for God to choose to die at the hands of a conspiracy of his own religious leaders and a pagan government? What was it like for human Jesus to say yes to that level of obedience? What was it like to be in Jerusalem that Monday morning of Holy Week when Jesus had today’s discussion and corrected the Pharisees? What was it like to “empty himself, taking the form of a slave…becoming obedient to the point of death”?
How much was all of that very similar to my struggles?
Jesus led the way for us. He did it. As both 100% human and 100% divine he did it. He is the parent with authority over me. With nurturance and formation, as well as with standards and limits, he is my model. He chose to obey.
Prayer
Thank You for the calls to conversion in these readings. Lead me, guide me, Lord. Forgive me for all the times I have implied “no” when the Holy Spirit has suggested through my conscience to do this hard thing or that inconvenient thing. Forgive me for the waffling I do when I evaluate what I say and do by the standard of how others will see it, instead of what pleases You. Let Your Light dissolve the fog in my mind or will that holds me back. Let Your glory and friendship give me courage and humility. Lead me beyond procrastination, beyond confusion and pride, to seek the good of all, using Your ways and Your standards. Lead me, guide me, Lord, to choose to obey.
