Friday, 6/10/16 – Lust, Divorce and Remarriage

Wedding Rings and BibleThe first reading for mass today talked about Elijah hiding in a cave, when a strong heavy wind tore up the mountains and crushed the rocks.  Then there was an earthquake and a fire that followed.  Then, in the gospel today, Jesus talked about the fires of hell.

The readings for mass today contain very strong words that are sure to get our attention.  In fact, that’s exactly what God did in the first reading for mass, when He caused so much upheaval in the land around the prophet Elijah.  Elijah hid in a cave to be protected from all the chaos, but after it all died down he was ready to listen to God.

Aren’t we like that too?  We have major eruptions in our lives, our families, marriages and friendships too.  It seems like such a terrible thing at the time, but afterwards you discover it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.  It was a way to vent your true feelings and then honestly cope with them.  In the aftermath of such an eruption we are a little more willing to listen to one another.  God sounds a little like this too in the first reading for mass today.

Jesus has some pretty strong words to say in today’s gospel as well.  They are similar to yesterday’s gospel about not committing murder.  Jesus warned us that anger toward other people can cause us to be liable to the fires of Gehenna.  We would do well to remember this in our personal relationships ….

In today’s gospel, Jesus said that it isn’t enough to just not commit adultery.  Men are to avoid looking at a woman lustfully, because if he does so, then he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

That goes for women too.  Pornography is not just a man’s sin anymore.  The number of women viewing pornography on the internet is also growing, and all it takes is just one image.  We need to resist the temptation to look even once, at those images that accidentally show up on the search engine results sometimes.  They say that just one picture can linger in your mind for days afterward.

Jesus mentioned the word Gehenna (hell) twice in today’s gospel, in connection with adultery.  The last part of today’s gospel though, is such a bone of contention in the Catholic church.  However, it is not the Catholic Church that made this “rule” to live by.  Jesus Christ himself gave us this teaching:

“It was also said, whoever divorces his wife must give her a bill of divorce.  But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” ~ Matthew 5: 27-32

We would do well to listen to Christ’s words.  Is it really worth it to jeopardize your eternal salvation for a very short period of personal happiness?

It isn’t a sin to get a civil divorce and live separately though, because you are still married in the eyes of God if you haven’t received an annulment.  The problem is marrying again without an annulment.

In 2014, Pope Francis called a special synod on the family.  He asked the bishops throughout the world, to meet and discuss the issues affecting modern families, especially the subjects of marriage, divorce, annulments and remarriage.  It continues to be such a challenge for the church to keep Christ’s teaching on divorce intact, and still show mercy for all those who have been affected by divorce.

I have one last thought on the subject of divorce though  … if a murderer can be forgiven for killing someone, then why can’t a person be forgiven for marrying the wrong person?

These are tough questions the church is continuing to face that won’t be resolved very easily.  May our prayers continue to be with the pope and the bishops around the world, as they attempt to realistically address these issues.

Attached is an eBook which includes the outcome of Pope Francis’s Synod on the Family for further study:

Pope Francis’s Post Synodal Apostolic Exhortation: AMORIS LAETITIA on Love and the Family

Daily Mass Readings:

Kings 19: 9a, 11-16 / Psalm 27 / Matthew 5: 27-32

About the Author

Hello! My name is Laura Kazlas. As a child, I was raised in an atheist family, but came to believe in God when I was 12 years old. I was baptized because of the words that I read in the bible. I later became a Catholic because of the Mass. The first time my husband brought me to Mass, I thought it was the most holy, beautiful sense of worshiping God that I had ever experienced. I still do! My husband John and I have been married for 37 years. We have a son, a daughter, and two granddaughters. We are in the process of adopting a three year old little girl. We live in Salem, Oregon in the United States. I currently serve as the program coordinator for Catholic ministry at a local maximum security men's prison. I‘m also a supervisor for Mount Angel Seminary’s field education program, in Oregon.

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11 Comments

  2. Very interesting site,may God bless you with more wisdom to digest the daily reading and explain to us as you have been doing in Jesus name amen

  3. Thanks for todays reflection. We are going the same Elijah went in Africa, but l ask all God fearing people the storm, earthquakes, will all pass on and we shall be left stronger.

  4. I liked your question about the forgiveness of a murderer and a person seeking divorce. I think the difference may be that marriage is a covenant (just as God is in a covenant relationship with us) bound by the effects of sacrament. I appreciate your thought provoking comments for my reflection. God bless

  7. Laura, thanks for the reflection. I always look forward to reading what you have to say. Also, I really liked the previous comment (from “anonymous”) about the difference between a murderer and someone seeking divorce: marriage is a covenant. Thanks for sharing this thought! But let’s not forget that God is the only one who knows the whole picture for each case. For now, we pray… God have mercy on us!

  8. On the readings for June 10th. What if you didn’t marry the wrong person but instead chose to divorce before you sought the Lord to help repair what was damaged? In todays culture we like to think there is an immediate cure for every pain and heartache. If we sincerely follow Christ we learn to embrace our crosses and pray for the one we married and ask God to give us the grace to allow Him to give us a miracle in our marriage and family. I always think of the part in the Bible when divorce began because of the hardened hearts. May we pray that all marriages seek His Divine Wisdom and humble themselves to say I’m Sorry Please forgive me, daily if needed. I have been married over 20 years and we have 11 children with 4 miscarriages and 7 living. Marriage is not easy and we have to make the decision to pray for Help. Love is not a feeling, we need to choose to forgive the unforgiveable and love the unlovable as Our Lord did when he died on the cross for all of us sinners. May Our Lord bring healing to all families because it is the children that get hurt the most! Do you tell the children that you married the wrong person? If you would have married a different person that child would not exist??? I find we all lack humility and we are so easy to blame instead of seeking God and asking Him to bring healing and conversion to the marriage and family. Praying for an end to all abortions!!!! J.M.J. St. Rita and St. Monica, Pray for us!!!

  9. Thank you so much Madam I really love to read through your daily reflections of the day, because I would be soon ordain a deacon and then priest, so for me it is very enriching and a blessing in disguise to enrich and enhance my relationship to God everyday. Once again thanks a lot and may God continue to bless you and your team members with His Peace and Joy.
    (From Oriens Theological College Shillong, Meghalaya, India.

  10. The question you raise concerning murder and divorce shows you have not dug into this topic as you should have to write this article. Your question shows a lack of understanding of the teaching of the Catholic Church and forgiveness. [ccc 1450 “Penance requires . . . the sinner to endure all things willingly, be contrite of heart, confess with the lips, and practice complete humility and fruitful ***satisfaction.*** – see below”]

    Any sin can be forgiven if the sinner repents (not just feels bad, would not do the same thing again if they were given the same situation and opportunity because they know it offends God’s love) [ccc1451 Among the penitent’s acts contrition occupies first place. Contrition is “sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again.”]

    Satisfaction
    1459 Many sins wrong our neighbor. ***** One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm**** (e.g., return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries). Simple justice requires as much. But sin also injures and weakens the sinner himself, as well as his relationships with God and neighbor. Absolution takes away sin, but it does not remedy all the disorders sin has caused. ****Raised up from sin, the sinner must still recover his full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin: he must “make satisfaction for” or “expiate” his sins. This satisfaction is also called “penance.” ***

    1469 This sacrament reconciles us with the Church. Sin damages or even breaks fraternal communion. The sacrament of Penance repairs or restores it. In this sense it does not simply heal the one restored to ecclesial communion, but has also a revitalizing effect on the life of the Church which suffered from the sin of one of her members. Re-established or strengthened in the communion of saints, the sinner is made stronger by the exchange of spiritual goods among all the living members of the Body of Christ, whether still on pilgrimage or already in the heavenly homeland:77

    ***It must be recalled that . . . this reconciliation with God leads, as it were, to other reconciliations, which repair the other breaches caused by sin. The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being, where he regains his innermost truth. He is reconciled with his brethren whom he has in some way offended and wounded. He is reconciled with the Church. He is reconciled with all creation.***

    So a person who commits one murder , goes to confession, repents, does penance and had no intent to do another murder is forgiven. A murderer who commits several murders, does the same ads above, but has plans to do several more murders within days of his visit to the confessional may hear the words from the Priest that he is forgiven but God is the one who forgives, not the priest. He knows the heart and since the second murderer has not committed to not committing the same sin again and in facts plans more murder (sin he is asking forgiveness for) he is not absolved. He has lied in confession.

    Using divorce the exact same applies. Remarriage out side the church is only part of the issue. Without a marriage being found nul, any sexual act or even appearance of the likelihood of a sexual act (see scandal, may have to change parishes to avoid it) whether remarried or not is a sin. it is adultery. So the issue with divorce and forgiveness is not the divorce. It is the sex act that takes place in the new marriage. If a couple divorces and one spouse remarries outside the church without a decree of nullity they are still married to the first spouse according to the Church. They, like the first murderer, can be forgiven IF they agree to live as brother and sister for the rest of their married lives if a decree of nullity is not granted or the original spouse is alive. Scandal says they can’t act as full members if their current situation is well known to the community of faith – it causes confusion. This is why they may have to change parishes to one where no one knows of the first marriage. If they live as brother and sister and are not causing scandal they are forgiven exactly like the first murderer. You can’t be for a sin you are glad you did. Sad it happened but glad you divorced your spouse? No abuse? Bishop didn’t approve separation (see canon law).. you can’t be forgiven no matter what a priest says… you are not repenting. You may be sad but you would do the same thing again if the situation occurred. If your spouse has not remarried and is open to reconciling, that is part of satisfaction… setting things right. Refuse to reconcile? Not forgiven. Not repenting. No effort to repair damage (divorce).

    Many think they are forgiven for divorcing for selfish reasons (no abuse, not approved by clergy (only Bishop or higher, not local priest) Canon Law) and are not. Few take the time to look up the fact that in every case when the danger, if any, is gone the Church expects them to reconcile with the spouse (canon law).

    So there are your reasons a divorced and remarried Catholic can’t be forgiven.

  11. Thank you for your very in depth explanation, John. It helped clarify a lot. I’m the coordinator of Catholic ministry at a maximum security men’s prison, which includes death row. I’ve spent the last ten years in prison ministry and this affected my question. You are right. I never explored this question more in depth. Thank you for writing. I do agree with what you have said.

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