Saturday November 25, 2024: Regret

Today’s Readings

Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past, because the consequences of the decision one did make were unfavorable.

We all feel this at one time or another in our lives, do we not? The looking back over one’s life, either in the short term or looking back years before, and feeling despondent over choices we made. Particularly if the outcome of those choices did not manifest in the ways we had hoped. At least we often BELIEVE that things would have turned out better had we acted and chose differently. And more to the point is that we each can respond differently to those feelings of regret. If we allow it to, regret can become all encompassing such that it effects our abilities to move on in our lives. Feelings that we messed up our lives in the past and now it is not worth living that life out in whatever direction it has taken us.

One of my regrets personally was my decision, when my children were young, to sing in our parish choir. I had often sung at churches I belonged to and really enjoyed it…not sure the congregants always enjoyed my efforts but, hey, I worked cheap. I sang in choir because it was something that I enjoyed doing. ME…MYSELF. Get where I am going? This was fine when I was single, or at least before Elise and I had children. But once the kids came along MY choice put burdens on my JEWISH wife. She had to try to explain to our children what was going on during mass while their CATHOLIC Father was off singing in choir. Not able to provide for them the Catholic teaching that they needed. I would have changed this choice if I could. But I can’t. I can only move forward.

In today’s first reading from the first book of Maccabees we see the Greek King, Antiochus, despondent because his armies have lost in their attempts to overthrow the wealthy Persian city of Elymias. In addition, Antiochus’ army has been routed by the Israelites led by Judah Maccabees and forced to flee back to Persia. Antiochus cannot understand why this has happened to him. He is a descendent of Alexander the Great and he has let his people down, not living up to expectations of his rule.

But he then recalls the destruction he had inflicted on the Jews years earlier when he destroyed their temples and forced them to relinquish their religious practices in favor of worshipping the pagan gods of the Greeks. He regrets his choices and the effects. He grows deeper into depression and sorrow, eventually leading to his death in a state of extreme grief. Judah Maccabees leads the Jews to eventual victory of the Greeks and restores the temple to its former glory. The celebration of Hannukah stems from this victory and the eight days of rejoicing that followed the rededication of the temple.

How do we respond to regret? Do we let our past consume us and darken our lives? Or do we see the hope that life holds from beginning to end, regardless of the twists and turns it takes. As Christians we hold that hope in the person of the RISEN Christ. Jesus endured incredible suffering and gave up His life so that we could live. Matthew and Zacchaeus were tax collectors who had stolen from their people. They were hated and despised. But Christ called them both out of their sin. Out of their regret. Called them to follow Him.

In the Gospel today from Luke, Jesus is engaging in the “Sport” of Arguing Torah with the Sadducees. A common practice even today among rabbinic students. The Sadducees did not believe that there was a resurrection. And, therefore, they believed that the only life we had was the present one. They give Jesus a ridiculous scenario based on the Levirate Marriage ritual engaged in at the time where a brother must marry his brother’s widow if they are childless so that the brother could Father a child and continue his brother’s bloodline. The Sadducees propose that there were 7 brothers who die childless after each marries his brother’s widow. The Sadducees want to know whose wife the widow will be in the afterlife. Jesus informs them that there is no marriage in heaven for we will be like angels.

Without the belief in a resurrection, the Sadducees have no hope. This life is all they get and any “mistakes” they make will live with them until their deaths. But Jesus put an end to that misery. To that sense of hopelessness. We have our relationship with Him in THIS life as well as the next. We are children of the resurrection in this, the Messianic, age.

Yes, I wished I sat with my children in the pew all those years ago while they were growing. So now I share the daily readings with both of them by forwarding the day’s readings by email. And have faith that they will read one and it will be the one God directs them to. And it will make all the difference. I share my faith with them when I can and hope it is enough.

So let us not be like Antiochus. Dying in despair. May we instead model ourselves after Paul who, when he was Saul, persecuted early Christians like there was no tomorrow…literally. His regret could have dragged him down and the faith born in Christ’s death would likely have died out. But, as Paul, he was responsible for leading millions, maybe billions, to Christ.

About the Author

Hello! My name is John Ciribassi. I live in Carol Stream, IL in the USA. My wife Elise and I are parishioners at Corpus Christi Catholic Church. We have two adult daughters. One lives in Senegal, West Africa with her husband and her 3 sons. The other teaches Anthropology at the University of Oslo, Norway. We also have a home in Mainesburg, Pa in the North Central part of Pennsylvania. My wife and I are both retired veterinarians, and my specialty is in animal behavior. I attended college and veterinary school in Illinois, where I met my wife who is from the Chicago area, and the rest is history! My hobbies include Racquetball, Pickleball, Off Road Motorcycle Riding, Hiking and Camping. I continue to enjoy the opportunity to offer what little insight I have on the scriptures. But I have always felt that the scriptures can speak for themselves. My job is just to shine a little light on them for people who maybe don't have the time to look into the readings deeply. I hope you enjoy and find value in my writings. I continue to be grateful for this opportunity.

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11 Comments

  1. This is a really thorough reflection, thank you. Many regrets are “I wish I had . . . ” family situations, or among friends, that in some ways don’t seem mad important, but still, can continue to nag at the thoughts. So I didn’t speak up when I should have: yes, time to move on as St Paul did, which is a really good point. Scripture is full of people who didn’t fall under the hammer of regrets: St Peter for one! I’ll do what I can now,having learned. Bless you. Thank you.

  2. Thank you John! Great reflection as always! Some of our regrets are choices that we have made that affect us the rest of our lives but as you said thats when we were Saul may we now carry on like Paul.

    God bless us all as people will “Know we are Christians by our Love”

  3. A wonderful reflection on regret! I love the way that you reach out to your children and I hope that they read your reflection today.

  4. Hi Dr. John. Thank you for this very insightful reflection and for your sharing of your thoughts and experience. Ok, what if you did sit in the pews and things are the same today? Your children saw a man of service and a mom who loved God and family to show them the way of Christ even if she is not a believer. Parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. Work and service are hard. You gave your best with what you knew at the time. That is what your children see. When your children marry and have children of their own (if not already), they will know it’s not so black and white. God bless you.

  5. Thank you John. Regrets is where I always bring this verse to mind….All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose: Romans 8:28.
    I thoroughly believe that God brings good out of the our mistakes, lack of doing, etc. His mercy is good, but we must ask for it and accept it. Be blessed.

  6. Thank you John. It’s true that every one of us has regrets. It’s the devil’s game he plays in hopes that he keeps us bound to them. Your reflection is enlightening. I like the historical context you add to all your reflections. It is very helpful. God bless you and your family.

  7. I don’t know how many times I’ve had regrets or questioned a decision when it came to my children. Parenting is the hardest job any parent has when it comes to raising their children. I’ve come to accept and realize whatever the past has brought me to this point in my life is the way it is and whatever choices I’ve made are mine and I own them. Always remember the prize to eternal happiness is yours as long as you keep going forward with whatever path God puts you on! Keep singing whether it be in Church or the shower, you were blessed with the gift of a beautiful singing voice!

  8. Thanks John for a beautiful reflection. My husband and I sometimes wonder what our life would be had we not left our country. But, I must say it is all part of God’s plan and there is no point in rehashing the “what-ifs”, the “coulds” and the “woulds”. We have learned to embrace what we have now and relish in the hope of what is to come…all in God’s time. Peace and blessings to all.

  9. This was beneficial for me today. Oh how I wish I could have changed small things while caring for my husband. To others I say TREASURE EVERY MOMENT NO MATTER HOW SMALL.

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