I’ve only really been drunk once in my life. From when I was 18 until I turned 25. No, seriously. Only once. And it was because of, wait for it….a girl. Now, there is likely little surprise in that revelation. Guys do all kinds of stupid things because of girls, don’t we? Drinking being just one of them.
In this instance, the girl I had been dating for a few years revealed a part of her personality that I had not known. We were at a party where I knew there would be marijuana being passed around and I asked her not to participate. When it was her turn, she looked at me in a defiant glance, and did so anyway. I was way angry. And what is the best way to display the anger at someone you care about who has done something self-destructive? Why you do something self-destructive as well. Obvious, right? So I started drinking beer. Excessively. For me, that meant finishing a whole can at once. But it did the trick I was after. Showing her that I could do something out of character as well. Also showed me how fast beer is processed. We had to stop the car about every 5 miles. It was then I learned that beer is only barrowed…not possessed. No coincidence that both liquid substances are typically the same color.
So why is it that I did something that I absolutely knew was going to harm me? Why do any of us do things with the knowledge that it will cause us some damage? Driving too fast, eating too much, using drugs or alcohol.
In today’s first reading from the 1st letter of John we hear that there are non-deadly and deadly sins. John tells us that we can pray for someone who commits a non-deadly sin to preserve their life. What are non-deadly sins? Well, I think the easiest way to define these is to first talk about what a deadly sin is. Everything that is not deadly is, by definition, non-deadly. So what is deadly sin?
When we absolutely know that Jesus as our Savior and that he forgives our sins leading us to eternal life, but we tell Him No, in no uncertain terms. That we are rejecting what He offers, right up until the end of our lives. It is what Matthew quotes Jesus as saying about the one sin that cannot be forgiven:
“Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven.” (Matthew 12:31)
When someone, with full knowledge of God’s saving grace in the form of His Son, Jesus, turns away there is nothing we can do…not even prayer. But why would someone do this? Willingly reject their salvation. The ticket to eternal life. I think part of the answer can be fear. Fear that maybe this salvation is not really true and it is much safer to rely on what you know. On what you can perceive with your senses. The life that is around you. Rather than some “far off” place that you have only read about in some ancient book.
But I think the other reason some commit the deadly sin is anger. Anger directed at someone that you perceive has harmed you. Why did I “pound” down that one can of beer? Because I was so mad at a person who I felt betrayed my trust. My girlfriend at the time knew my feelings about drug use but chose to participate anyway. I felt a loss of trust. Of course, what she was doing was trying to let me know that I did not control her and she was free to do what she wanted. But, for me, all I felt was disappointment in someone who I thought cared about me.
And isn’t this one reason why some reject God? Active rejection implies a relationship exists. That I know who you are but you have done some things to me in the past that I just cannot accept. So, see you around. If I didn’t believe in God, I would not have a need to actively reject Him. After all, he doesn’t exist. I would just ignore any talk or representation of Him. But to actively reject means that I am not happy with who you are and what you do. And I choose not to have a relationship with you.
We may blame God for the death of a loved one, or an illness, or not getting us that job that we wanted. He has failed us and hurt us. So, “I know who you are, but I don’t want any of what you are selling!” I’ve seen what this world has to offer and if you are the chief architect of that, I prefer to look elsewhere. This is the deadly sin that cannot be prayed for. This is the hardened heart that Christ speaks of throughout the Gospels. It requires a person to first open up their heart to receive God’s grace so that faith takes a foothold. Without that, prayer is just like bullets that bounce of Superman’s chest. Does not penetrate.
In the Gospel today is the very familiar story of Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding feast in Cana. What I find interesting is that this event in the second Luminous Mystery of the Rosary. When Pope John Paul II instituted the Luminous Mysteries, he said this about the Wedding Feast:
The wedding feast at Cana “opens the hearts of the disciples to faith, thanks to the intervention of Mary, the first among believers.”
Luminous…shedding light. Light that can illuminate the heart and the soul. Until a person lets that light enter into the dark places in their life, no amount of prayer can penetrate. Lives become self-destructive. We act as if we want to hurt God by not believing. By acting in ways contrary to our own self-worth and our own good.
Maybe the answer lies in the words of Pope John Paul. While our prayers for the unbeliever may be like bullets fired at the Man of Steel, ask Mary to intervene. If you know someone in danger of committing the deadly sin, ask Mary to get involved to help soften the heart and make it open to receive her Son. As it says at the end of the “O My Jesus” prayer between each decade of the Rosary:
“…Lead all souls to heaven. Especially those in most need of thy mercy.”
Oh, and that girlfriend? We broke up. She didn’t become a hardened drug addict. And I didn’t have to join Alcoholics Anonymous for a drinking problem. But it did mean that I was free to date again. And my next girlfriend? She became my wife.
