But Nathanael said to him,
“Can anything good come from Nazareth?”
Philip said to him, “Come and see.”
Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him,
“Here is a true child of Israel.
There is no duplicity in him.”
As a minority and from the smallest state in my country, I have travelled around my country and few parts of the world! My identity is from my skin tone and my accent , followed by my name! Almost everyone I met ask me this – are you a christian? its a little funny but I smile and say catholic! To be extremely honest I am not absolutely sure what are the differences but as long as I am not asked more than I am content.
My religion has been an integral part of my identity for a long time – from being a convent educated student who knew all the prayers by default thanks to every morning prayer assembly and participating in all competitions for hymn/ christmas carol singing , Bible quiz or even skits. I moved out to a secular medical college however, there was Sunday mass available in premises for the staff and patients which never felt I missed much! The operation theatre staff and the nurses would have regular annual thanksgiving mass and I always have been attending them.
Joining obgyn was my hardest challenge, when I refused to assist or attend MTP ( medical termination of pregnancies) or convinced patients to change their decisions about them I felt a sense of accomplishment, however as I moved outside my comfort zone of a state with a sizeable number of catholics – reality set in!
It was a daily internal struggle to fight against the urge to run away from such places where they never gave life a chance, where the job was a job not a dedication! Unethical practises and constant stress about what do I say next as I know my patient would go to a quack and get some wrong medicines and end up worse! I resorted to advocating for contraception – chose between the devil and the deep sea ( I do not even swim). I remember breaking down to the priest in confession and I just was so shaken up!
Some days work was frustrating when people would want treatments for bearing children and could go to any extent! I even attended a 2 week course in IVF and artificial reproduction and watched first hand how artifically babies are made! As a science buff, it is fascinating to watch that we all are from a tiny sperm and egg meeting grow to have lofty aspirations and sinful hearts! That is when I knew I could never do it nor convince someone to do it!
While I prayed and was confused for a long while as to what my calling was and why I was not able to find happiness at work – my fathers cancer woke me up! From seeing how families and lives are destroyed by the disease and how less we areas healthcare workers to fight for it! So I studied and attempted a country wide exam and aced it , I am now eligible to start my super speciality training in gynecological oncology – cancer of female reproductive organs!
It is a relatively new field in my country and have very few colleges around for the training, I know this is what I am meant to do! Lot of my professors and mentors I looked up to told me it is not worth it and even discouraged me about the exam. But they told Jesus the same ( not that I am comparing myself ) While I await my seat and college allotment, I will have to move across country for another 3 to 4 years of training and studying to get skilled and certified! I know its going to a huge change leaving family and home state comfort but we all need to travel outside and spread the word!
This week, I only pray that my Christian identity helps me get through the next phase and appreciate the blessings I have. So should you!
PRAYER:
Bless and guide me oh God with your Love that I may shine your light through my work and deeds, everyday!
AMEN.
ps. happy new year 2023 !
